Getting Unstuck

Reaching a new perspective that gets you unstuck from your past is a combination of humility, awareness, spiritual focus, and grace. These four components can provide a corrective lens through which you can see anything from the past or in the present. They can help you get past your walls and move on toward a bright future.

Why we live in the past: We stay stuck behind walls because we find certain benefits from staying there. One benefit is that we do not have to participate fully in life because staying the same is easier than doing the hard work of change. Another benefit of staying stuck in the past is we justify not trying new things or taking new risks. People will not become vulnerable and not make themselves open to new possibilities, if they think they are only going to get hurt again. Another common benefit of living in the past is the hurts experienced long ago become the excuse for over indulgence in the present. These attitudes become a replacement for dealing with the past and our life gets out of balance. These “benefits” remove us from the responsibility for our dysfunctional behavior and allow us to stay the same.

Reframe your thoughts, change your life: Almost always, we who are stuck behind walls have developed a distorted, inaccurate view of the past. When you are stuck behind walls, you hold on to thoughts and feelings that distort your outlook and damage your health. More than we realize, it is our thinking about events of the past that keeps us unhealthy, unhappy, and stuck behind walls. “Your problem is not your problem. How you see your problem is your problem.” When we are willing to change our thinking, we become able to see that our walls are not created by the trauma of the past but by our reaction to the original trauma. This change in thinking requires that we see the picture through a new frame. Putting a new frame on the past will not change it, but it can change our outlook on the events that traumatized us. The knowledge of our past will still be there, but its negative impact will be wiped out. Seeing the past through a new frame involves looking at yourself and at the people who have hurt you, seeing everything in a more accurate perspective. A radical shift in your perspective could enable you to view the past more accurately and see the truth in a way that frees you from your wall.

Jesus shows us new perspectives: Jesus often removed walls by putting a new perspective on the realities of people’s lives. When others saw the widow’s gift as worthless because it had very little monetary value, Jesus over turned this worldly perspective to see the gift in terms of sacrifice, which showed to be one of the largest gifts ever given in honor of God. When people were ready to throw stones at the woman caught in adultery, Jesus forced them to see the woman in light of their own sins. When he showed them that her reality was also their reality, they dropped their stones and left. The Sermon on the Mount is a guide to seeing life from a true perspective. It invites us to see people and events in a different light. It says the weak will be strong; the powerless are often the greatest; and that sufferers will be given special attention rather than be treated as outcasts. A change in perspective allows you to get out from behind walls that keep you stuck and started down a new and brighter path. How can you change your perspective on your past? Do you still see yourself as a victim?