Resolving conflict through Godly Character Development

People often put up walls thinking that is the only way to protect themselves. Walls provide a false sense of security because they are barriers that keep you locked up in the past. A boundary is an authentic security when personal responsibility is practiced. Practicing boundaries provides freedom to try something different that helps you to move into a meaningful future. Learning to practice boundaries is not without much effort and practice. The Bible offers us this truth: “It is freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

Boundary overview: Boundaries, in a broad sense, are lines or things that mark a limit or border. Personal boundaries are a property line and separate what is yours, and what belongs to another person. We need to take responsibility for what’s inside our property lines and let other’s take responsibility for what belongs to them within their own property lines. Boundaries are foundational to a sense of identity, ownership, responsibility, and stewardship. Personal boundaries define your identity, that is who you are and who you are not. We are to be connected to others without losing our own identity and individuality.

Healthy confrontation is love: Learning to connect to others does not come without its challenges. Confrontation is dealing with the hurtfulness and sin in us and others. These can include verbal attacks, control, entitlement, irresponsibility, rebellion, critics, self-centeredness, and many others. Learning to say “no”, or learning to say “stop”, setting limits and enforcing consequences are all part of the boundary setting process. Balance is found when a reasonable issue is discussed in a proper manner. Address behavior patterns more than events. The goal is to resolve conflict. “Make every effort to live in peace with all men” (Hebrews 12:14). We are to accept one another, faults and all, even though we may not approve of their actions. Decide for yourself how much quality time you can afford to invest in those who do not respect your convictions. Ultimately, it is your responsibility and choice for what you allow and permit.

Strength is found in Christ: Our goal is to become more like Christ. Learning to resolve conflict is part of the process. “For we are God’s workmanship” (Ephesians 2:10). “Be imitators of God, as dearly loved children” (Ephesians 5:1). God is our refuge and our strength. God has given us His Spirit that lives within to empower us: “I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with His power through His Spirit in your inner being” (Ephesians 3:16). The inner being Paul mentions is Godly character: “And I pray that you be rooted and established in love” (Ephesians 3:17).

Think it, say it, and believe it: “My purpose is to develop Godly character and to become more like Christ. I am becoming more responsibility for taking ownership of what belongs to me. I am learning to love others by validating their freedom to think and choose, as they decide for themselves. These Godly principles of truth provide me structure and direction for my life. I will be a good steward of all my own personal aspects God has given me. Amen.”