Self-Imposed Anger

Many people will say the reasons behind their anger come from other people or circumstances. Even though external pressures do present difficulties, you still have to take personal responsibility for your choices and how those choices ultimately affect you. The following are some of the more common patterns of self-imposed anger.

·         Moral decline: Too many people increase their anger by compromising their morals to gain acceptance, or not to face the reality of their pain and suffering. In the short term, some satisfaction is felt. But over the long term immorality and emotional turmoil go hand in hand. An immoral lifestyle is one of dissatisfaction and emptiness and that leads to increased frustration. “You my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather serve one another in love” (Galatians 5:13).

·         Work becomes all there is: When people are consumed by work they typically describe themselves as stressed. Overworked, stressful people get angry. Instead, nurture important relationships and set limits regarding activities. “What does a man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?” (Ecclesiastes 1:3). “He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor” (Proverbs 21:21).

·         Poor health habits: There are several unhealthy ways relating to self-imposed anger including overeating, lack of exercise, not enough sleep, smoking, and substance abuse. Each of these habits contributes to irritability, low self-esteem, added stress, and reduces quality of life. People seeking to manage anger properly will logically conclude that physical health is a powerful element of personal stability. “The fear of the Lord adds length to life, but the years of the wicked are cut short” (Proverbs 10:27).

·         Materialism is overemphasized: Problems arise when material gain is required for happiness. Perhaps the most common form of anger associated with material emphasis is envy; frustration over someone else’s possession of something we want. If we run the race of materialism, we become vulnerable to false superiority. Anger is reduced when we feel loved, respected and understood. These things cannot be bought. “Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife” (Proverbs 17:1).  

·          Spiritual life is ignored: Anger management is ultimately linked to spiritual stability. When spiritual vitality is absent, personal stability is no longer a matter of inner strength.  Daily problems become overwhelming when we do not have an on-going relationship with God. Being a peace with God empowers us to confidently combat worldly imperfections that would otherwise increase irritability and anger. “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life” (Galatians 6:7-8).

Which of these statements do you identify with, and why? What unmet needs do you think may be driving your behavior? What healthy way can those unmet needs be met?