Pride causes Anger

Pride is the emotion of self-absorption and self-centeredness, arrogance and conceit, is easily offended, critical of others, and presumptuous focusing only on his or her rights and preferences. When the prideful person does not get his or her way, they overstate their demands: “An angry man stirs up dissensions, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins” (Proverbs 29:22). Pride is a spiritual disease and is the expression of our inborn sinful nature. Anger can be managed as you reconcile with God and His ways.

·         Humility is the antidote to pride: The trait that keeps us in submission to God is humility. While denying self may appear to be a weakness, it actually clears the way for unusual strength. Because God’s plan always leads to healthy interaction, we can be sure that this submission will bring us more success than failures. “Before his downfall a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor” (Proverbs 18:12).

·         Humility is other-focused: As the emotion of self-preoccupation, pride’s bottom line is, “get my needs met.” The Bible’s instruction for successful relationships is to consider others more important than yourself. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). This requires us to be sensitive to others’ feelings and to recognize that their different perceptions can have importance. This is not natural for us to do, and involves a daily, conscious decision on our part. When you practice assertiveness, you can be confident in your choice to communicate your emotions in a constructive fashion while maintaining respect for the other party.

·        Humility accepts limits: Prideful people struggle to maintain balance in their relationships. They create turmoil by imposing their will by attempting to push their preferences and ideas on to others. To establish patterns of successful assertiveness, boundaries must be recognized. First, you must establish personal boundaries, including communicating simple needs to standing openly for deep convictions. Second, you must accept others’ differentness.  Do what is good: “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men” (Titus 3:1-2).

·         Humility is a choice: If you practice humility as an act of duty only, you would have some success at managing your anger. But then, it wouldn’t really be humility. You’d be living in a subtle form of pride called legalism. Humility is not a duty, it is a choice. By accepting our limits and setting aside self-centeredness, we are not repressing the other emotions. We are putting a higher priority on appropriateness.  Learning to let go of undesirable emotions, like anger, rather than repressing them is unnatural to many. If you have had a history of abuse or if you are accustomed to being invalidated, you have probably learned the trait of repression (denial). To develop humility without repression will require ongoing self-examination.

Give one example of how you became angry because you did not get your way. What was the result? How could you have handled the situation differently?