Growth comes through the Attitude of the Mind

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:23-24).

Your attitude is basically made of three parts: what you think, feel, and do. Attitudes of the mind have to do with your view point, position or stance - towards others, life, work and relationships. How you think forms your beliefs and values. Beliefs are anything that you accept as true. Values define what is important to you. Distorted thinking is often the blockage to resolving relationship issues. We don’t recognize our thinking patterns as a source of discomfort in our life. We look at people and situations and conclude that reality must be the way we perceive it. Your perceptions of people are distorted by past relationship injuries, and incorrect assumptions of what you expect them to be.  

Most often, attitudes are learned early in life and they play a big part in who you are and how you operate. Your attitude affects your ability to set and enforce boundaries. Personal boundaries define what belongs to you and what belongs to someone else. You need to own your attitudes because it is within your property line. You are the one who feels the affects, and only you can change your attitude.

People who have never questioned their attitudes and beliefs often hold onto the traditions of others. They have not taken ownership of their own thinking processes. Instead they think the thoughts of others without examining them. They accept the opinions and reasoning’s of others, never questioning why they think the way they do. Consider the origin of your thought process. “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ” (Colossians 2:8). 

How strongly you feel about something, good or bad, is your emotional response of your attitude. Feelings come from the heart and tell you the condition of your relationships whether things are going well or not. If you feel validated, things are going well. If you feel angry and frustrated, there is a problem that needs to be addressed. Feelings shouldn’t be ignored but they shouldn’t consume your life. Your feelings are a compass that points to a problem so you can address the underlying cause.

Your behavior is a physical expression of your attitude. How and what you say to people is only a small percentage of overall communication. Non-verbal communication conveys a large part of your attitude. People may hear what you say but they will believe what they see. Also, they may forget what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel. Your feelings and behavior are a reflection of how you think.

What distorted thinking is hindering your relationships? What are your feelings telling you about the condition of your key relationships? What do your actions and behavior say about you? Is your current behavior a reflection of Christ? What does it mean to be “created like God in true righteousness and holiness”?