Over time we are required to take charge of our own lives. We can learn skills to develop this ability. We have to work on attaching to others to have our heart filled. We work on setting boundaries to own your own life. We work on confessing and receiving forgiveness so you have the fractured parts of your soul made whole. And finally, learn to be an authority and be in charge of your own life.
See parents and authority figures realistically. If you idealize your parents, you are meshing with their mistakes, and you may become like them. See their weaknesses and their strengths. Confess the sins of your fathers and then forgive them. Recognize the sin, stand apart and break away from destructive generational patterns and behaviors.
Love and appreciate people who are different. Learn to appreciate people who are different from you. Begin to assume an equal stance with other adults. In doing so, you are stopping the “sibling rivalry” and the childhood battle of trying to be the better child to win “parental approval”.
Submit to others out of freedom. An important aspect of becoming an adult is to learn to submit to others in love, without an authority conflict, including government, employers, friends, spouses, people you disagree with, and God. When you submit in love, you are displaying your freedom. You do things because you want to, not because you have to. Submission out of compliance is slavery.
Practice disagreeing. Be aware when someone is parenting you. Anyone telling you what you “should” think or do, is parenting you. Learn to verbalize what you are thinking. The point is not to become confrontational, but rather having a normal conversation. Learn to be equal with those who have assigned themselves as gods in your life, or to those who you have put on a pedestal. Start making decisions for yourself and be responsible for yourself. Welcome the opinion of others but don’t feel compelled to do what they say.
Reevaluate beliefs. We need to look into what we think and believe and why we think and believe it. At some point, we need to recognize the difference between the understanding of our perceptions, and the traditions of family and culture versus a real heartfelt conviction from God, the truth from His word, and our own life’s experiences. Once we have gone through this questioning period, we will have developed a mind of our own.
Disagree with authority figures. Safe relationships allow others to have their own thoughts and opinions even if they disagree. No one is right about everything, and we all go through periods of reshaping what we think on any topic. Learn to speak your opinion and be open to disagreements. Speaking out helps us to reshape our own views and you may also be helping someone else shape their views.
To grow we must reevaluate our beliefs. We need to look into what we think and believe and why we think and believe it. At some point, we need to recognize the difference between the understanding of our perceptions, and the traditions of family and culture versus a real heartfelt conviction from God, the truth from His word, and our own life’s experiences. Once we have gone through this questioning period, we will have developed a mind of our own.
ReplyDelete