Being Accountable for Change and Growth

There are three elements for anger management to come full circle. First, you must identify the anger in its many forms. Second, examine the factors causing the anger to remain. Third, apply insights to change and growth to everyday living. Be accountable to others by taking ownership and responsibility for own relational and spiritual growth. Growth comes when involve yourself in the following healthy, relational practices. 

·         Become more relational: Misused anger creates an emotional atmosphere of rejection, expecting the worst, and self-centeredness, ultimately leaving everyone involved dissatisfied. Instead, create goals that will reflect a change of heart. Be known as someone who finds the good in others. Be courteous to others even when problems are not completely resolved. Choose to accept the imperfections of others, just as you want others to accept your imperfections.

·         Make amends: An inevitable by-product of misguided anger is damaged relationships. It is not enough for us to resolve to move forward with a new perspective on managing anger. To truly find balance we must be willing to make amends with those who been hurt by our past behavior and attitudes such as asking the one whom you offended to forgive you for specific wrongs. While there are no guarantees that we can tie down all loose ends involving the past, we can ensure a better outcome when we are willing to take the lead in our commitments to emotional healthiness.

·         Positive communication: Ongoing anger inhibits positive traits. Rather than being friendly or encouraging, anger can cause us to be cynical, critical, or withdrawn. Instead, be a better listener. Initiate friendly and sincere exchange in respectful conversation. Show some enthusiasm towards the interests of others. Be more flexible and less rigid in your daily interactions. Balance is found when reasonable issues are communicated in a proper and respectful manner.

·         Be open and real: For change to be effective, you need to be open and real about your changes with people who know you well. It is one thing to decide quietly that you will handle your anger more appropriately, but you will be more powerfully motivated to maintain your adjustments when you openly describe what will be different. As we share our needs and plans, we create the very atmosphere of growth and encouragement that will prompt ongoing emotional healthiness.

The true test of anger management is revealed in who you become after you have chosen to manage your anger differently. Part of that process is being accountable for your choices and behavior. You can do that by sharing your needs and weaknesses with a trusted friend or growth group. The Bible instructs us to “confess your sins with one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed” (James 5:16). How will sharing your anger management efforts help you and others?