All is well when we feel understood, supported, accepted, and connected. On the other hand, anger is ignited from the hurtful words and actions of another. Anger is a general term to describe several emotional expressions including frustration, irritability, annoyance, and blowing off steam. Anger is defined as intent to (1) preserve personal worth, (2) preserve essential needs, and to (3) preserve basic convictions.
Preserving personal worth: Anger is common to every person, found in all personality types. We are guaranteed to encounter this negative emotion because we are imperfect people, living in an imperfect world. Anger comes when you feel the need to clearly communicate that your personal boundaries have been violated. Purposely intended by the speaker to cause harm or not, the angry person feels that his or her dignity has been demeaned from having been ignored, denied, offended, mistreated, wronged, or controlled. Perceptions are more powerful than intentions. The common message perceived is a lack of respect. Hurtful people offer judgmental evaluations and critical opinions. Anger is a choice when we can begin to accept God’s grace and truth that produces in us a God given identity, His character, purpose, and eternal value.
Preserving essential needs: Everyone needs love, encouragement, and respect. Essential needs are common to us all. These needs must be satisfactorily addressed if we are to have emotional well-being. We feel confused, hurt, and angry when our essential needs are not addressed or validated. The essential needs you have will not always be the same as the essential needs of others. Each of us has a different temperament with different motives and desires. No two people have the same identical background or experiences, so each of us have unique issues of importance. It is normal to expect some of your essential needs to be met. On the other hand, anger can be misguided or overstated because of a sense of entitlement and self-centeredness. Anger is a choice when we find balance in contentment and thankfulness. Not all of our essential needs have been neglected. For example, we can be thankful for what we do have, including friends and family, good health, a place to live, and food to eat.
Preserving basic convictions: Anger can be incorrectly associated with trivial matters. There are times when anger may be associated with legitimate concerns, but managed irresponsibly. There is a fine line between knowing when to stand up firmly for your convictions and when to accept the imperfections you see in the world. When anger becomes so much part of your identity that you lose your capacity to find peace, your convictions begin to work against you. Balance is found when reasonable issues are communicated in a proper and respectful manner. A person who is growing and maturing need to have a firm foundation of beliefs to guide their lives, yet also need to know how to remain composed when others do not share the same beliefs.
Discussion questions: Where do you get your self-worth from? Is there unmet needs in your life currently and how are you handling it? Can you think of a situation where your anger was the result of a too strongly held conviction?
September 17, 2012
September 15, 2012
The Certainty of God’s Promise
“When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore himself saying “I will surely bless you and give you many descendants.” And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised. Men swear by someone greater than themselves, and the oath confirms what is said and puts an end to all arguments. Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of His purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, He confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the HOPE offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this HOPE as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek” Hebrews 6:13-20.
HOPE is a healthy attitude. HOPE Anchors the Soul. Anticipating good brings comfort to the mind and heart. In contrast, a state of hopelessness is a terrible condition to be in. It's overwhelming and depressing to think that what you're facing cannot be changed or fixed. For the person who has lost all hope, life looks like a long dark tunnel going nowhere. Proverbs tells us that "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Prov. 13:12). Emotional, physical, and even mental illness haunt a person who feels trapped in a grim situation. With God, no situation is hopeless. In Him, we have the promise: "Desire fulfilled is a tree of life."
Believers have a HOPE that anchors the soul. An anchor was a popular image in the ancient Mediterranean world. In an economy that depended on shipping, the anchor symbolized safety and steadiness. The writer of Hebrews used the word to remind believers that God has given a HOPE that holds firm in any storm. Relationship with Jesus brings us to the throne of heaven, where we can cast all our burdens before God. He pulls us toward Himself! He says, “Come. Find the rest that you need, the relief from the burdens and from doubt.” He provides strength for weary bodies, peace for anxious minds, and comfort for grieving hearts. He provides light where there is darkness that guides us through trying and difficult situations. Life with God is our HOPE.
HOPE is a healthy attitude. HOPE Anchors the Soul. Anticipating good brings comfort to the mind and heart. In contrast, a state of hopelessness is a terrible condition to be in. It's overwhelming and depressing to think that what you're facing cannot be changed or fixed. For the person who has lost all hope, life looks like a long dark tunnel going nowhere. Proverbs tells us that "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Prov. 13:12). Emotional, physical, and even mental illness haunt a person who feels trapped in a grim situation. With God, no situation is hopeless. In Him, we have the promise: "Desire fulfilled is a tree of life."
Believers have a HOPE that anchors the soul. An anchor was a popular image in the ancient Mediterranean world. In an economy that depended on shipping, the anchor symbolized safety and steadiness. The writer of Hebrews used the word to remind believers that God has given a HOPE that holds firm in any storm. Relationship with Jesus brings us to the throne of heaven, where we can cast all our burdens before God. He pulls us toward Himself! He says, “Come. Find the rest that you need, the relief from the burdens and from doubt.” He provides strength for weary bodies, peace for anxious minds, and comfort for grieving hearts. He provides light where there is darkness that guides us through trying and difficult situations. Life with God is our HOPE.
September 14, 2012
A Living HOPE
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade – kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time” 1Peter 1:3-5.
As Believers, we are born into A Living HOPE. Believers anchor their HOPE in Jesus Chris. The promises of the Bible and the words of Jesus are always true and always lead to lasting fulfillment: “The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord: He is their stronghold in times of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; He delivers them from the wicked and saves them because they take refuge in Him” (Psalm 37:39-40).
Those who do not put Jesus at the center of their lives have no foundation for their desires and live with a false sense of security. They pursue wealth, materialism, and other worldly success rather than God and find that their dreams go unfulfilled, fail to satisfy, and lead to ruin: “Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked; for the power of the wicked will be broken, but the Lord upholds the righteous” (Psalm 36:16-17).
The Lord does not disappoint those who seek His will. At times we might feel temporarily let down when something we wanted was not in God's plan. While one door may close, there is always another about to open with something better behind it. We can be sure He never goes back on His promises to give His children the very best: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go” (Isaiah 48:17). The best choice you can make is to fix your HOPE in the Lord. HOPE in the Lord never fails. Your circumstances may change, but Jesus never does. He is A Living HOPE who never disappoints.
As Believers, we are born into A Living HOPE. Believers anchor their HOPE in Jesus Chris. The promises of the Bible and the words of Jesus are always true and always lead to lasting fulfillment: “The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord: He is their stronghold in times of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; He delivers them from the wicked and saves them because they take refuge in Him” (Psalm 37:39-40).
Those who do not put Jesus at the center of their lives have no foundation for their desires and live with a false sense of security. They pursue wealth, materialism, and other worldly success rather than God and find that their dreams go unfulfilled, fail to satisfy, and lead to ruin: “Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked; for the power of the wicked will be broken, but the Lord upholds the righteous” (Psalm 36:16-17).
The Lord does not disappoint those who seek His will. At times we might feel temporarily let down when something we wanted was not in God's plan. While one door may close, there is always another about to open with something better behind it. We can be sure He never goes back on His promises to give His children the very best: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go” (Isaiah 48:17). The best choice you can make is to fix your HOPE in the Lord. HOPE in the Lord never fails. Your circumstances may change, but Jesus never does. He is A Living HOPE who never disappoints.
September 5, 2012
Seeking Guidance to Grow
By forsaking the worldly way, believers have chosen a narrow path (Matt. 7:13). However, we’re not wandering blindly on it. The Holy Spirit is our guide. He directs our steps toward new opportunities and offers discernment so we can make wise decisions that keep us on course for God’s will (1 John 1:8-10). It is the nature of this journey that we have to stop often and seek guidance. God is pleased to respond to earnest requests for direction, as He wants to keep His followers in the center of His will. Many Christians wonder how to pursue divine guidance.
Seeking God’s guidance and direction involves a pattern that begins with cleansing. In other words, the first place to look is at yourself. Ask, “Father, do you see anything in my life that might interfere with my understanding what you are saying?” Sin shuts down the guidance process: it strangles the power flowing from the Holy Spirit and thereby clouds our judgment (1 Thess. 5:19). First John 1:9 tells us that God cleanses unrighteousness when we confess our sins. The Bible also contains a clear warning for those who refuse to relinquish a rebellious habit or attitude and the Lord does not hear their cries (Ps. 66:18). As He brings to mind problem areas, lay them before the cross.
Cleansing is a continual process while receiving guidance from God. The Holy Spirit brings sin to our attention as we’re equipped to deal with it. So on the way to receiving His clear direction, we may revisit this step often and in that way can experience a time of rich spiritual growth and renewal. Doing things God’s way isn’t always easy; but it’s always worth it.
Seeking God’s guidance and direction involves a pattern that begins with cleansing. In other words, the first place to look is at yourself. Ask, “Father, do you see anything in my life that might interfere with my understanding what you are saying?” Sin shuts down the guidance process: it strangles the power flowing from the Holy Spirit and thereby clouds our judgment (1 Thess. 5:19). First John 1:9 tells us that God cleanses unrighteousness when we confess our sins. The Bible also contains a clear warning for those who refuse to relinquish a rebellious habit or attitude and the Lord does not hear their cries (Ps. 66:18). As He brings to mind problem areas, lay them before the cross.
Cleansing is a continual process while receiving guidance from God. The Holy Spirit brings sin to our attention as we’re equipped to deal with it. So on the way to receiving His clear direction, we may revisit this step often and in that way can experience a time of rich spiritual growth and renewal. Doing things God’s way isn’t always easy; but it’s always worth it.
September 4, 2012
How to Hear from God
“Who then, is the man that fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him” (Psalm 25:12). Sometimes it can seem as if God withholds direction from us when we are trying to know His will. But that’s not the way God operates. He wants those who believe and trust in Him to have clear direction. “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1Corinthians 1:18). The following steps help us to hear His voice and know His will.
Clear the path: Our own sin and what it is that we want are the two main obstacles that hinder judgment. To receive clear guidance from God, we must repent of all known sin and make our desires second to His. “Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor is not in vain” (1Corinthians 15:58).
Be patient and wait: It takes a great deal of strength, contentment and patience to stand, be still, and wait upon the Lord. “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:14). If you rush ahead of God, you may miss His best: “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him (James 1:12).
Persist in prayer: The Bible tells us to keep coming to the Lord with our requests and concerns. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). As we continue to pray, He will gradually eliminate anything confusing and unnecessary until we come fully into alignment with His will. “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever (Psalm 30:11).
Meditate on the Word: The Bible has an answer for every need, and the Holy Spirit knows just how to point us in the right direction: “He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you the manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” (Deuteronomy 8:3). So often when we’re faced with a difficult decision, all we want from the Lord is a quick answer. Don’t let the urgency of your need keep you from enjoying the intimacy of His presence as you seek His will.
Clear the path: Our own sin and what it is that we want are the two main obstacles that hinder judgment. To receive clear guidance from God, we must repent of all known sin and make our desires second to His. “Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor is not in vain” (1Corinthians 15:58).
Be patient and wait: It takes a great deal of strength, contentment and patience to stand, be still, and wait upon the Lord. “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:14). If you rush ahead of God, you may miss His best: “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him (James 1:12).
Persist in prayer: The Bible tells us to keep coming to the Lord with our requests and concerns. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). As we continue to pray, He will gradually eliminate anything confusing and unnecessary until we come fully into alignment with His will. “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever (Psalm 30:11).
Meditate on the Word: The Bible has an answer for every need, and the Holy Spirit knows just how to point us in the right direction: “He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you the manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” (Deuteronomy 8:3). So often when we’re faced with a difficult decision, all we want from the Lord is a quick answer. Don’t let the urgency of your need keep you from enjoying the intimacy of His presence as you seek His will.
August 31, 2012
A Heart for God
“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers (Psalm 1:1-3). The Psalms record David's desire to know God and be known by Him. He sought the Lord's guidance through prayer and had a heart for Him.
David made God his priority: King David made several big mistakes in his life. Yet he was called a man after God's own heart and was mightily used by the Lord to lead the people of Israel. What made him different was the priority he placed on his relationship with our heavenly Father. David delighted in knowing God and sought Him with deep sincerity and seriousness. David wrote, "My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You in a dry and weary land" (Psalm 63:1, 3-4). He declared that God's love was better than life itself, and pledged to praise Him all his days. His faith sustained him throughout life: when he was a shepherd boy protecting sheep from attacks by wild animals, a young man defeating the giant Goliath, and the nation's anointed leader escaping King Saul's murderous plans. Whatever circumstances David found himself in, he sought the Lord and gave priority to their relationship.
David saw God as the source of life: David viewed the world from a God-centered perspective. He was filled with wonder and astonishment at the Lord's creative power in the world. He relied on God for protection and strength, and proclaimed complete dedication and allegiance to Him in his writings. He prayed frequently with strong passion and conviction. He lifted his prayers and petitions to God in the morning and patiently waited on God for His response: “In the morning, O Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait in expectation” (Psalm 5:3). At night he'd continue communing with God: “On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night” (Psalm 63:6). Both actions of praying and meditating on God's character, fueled David’s faith and trust in the Lord.
A heart for God begins with a pure heart: The heart represents the seat of our mind, will, and emotions. When we strive to keep it pure, we will more easily discern the Lord’s plan, submit our will to His, and follow Him obediently. Reaching our full potential begins with a desire to obey Him. However, each of us was born with a nature bent away from God. Jeremiah 17:9 describes the heart as deceitful and inclined towards wickedness. The best way to maintain a pure heart is by meditating on Scripture. The Bible is like a mirror in which we see ourselves as God does, in both successes and failures. Expressing genuine repentance brings God’s forgiveness and cleansing (1 John 1:9). Cooperating with the Holy Spirit’s transforming work will also help us keep our hearts clean. Becoming the person God planned for each of us to be requires an intimate relationship with Him and a desire to obey His Word. Apart from Jesus, we can’t achieve anything of lasting value (John 15:5).
David made God his priority: King David made several big mistakes in his life. Yet he was called a man after God's own heart and was mightily used by the Lord to lead the people of Israel. What made him different was the priority he placed on his relationship with our heavenly Father. David delighted in knowing God and sought Him with deep sincerity and seriousness. David wrote, "My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You in a dry and weary land" (Psalm 63:1, 3-4). He declared that God's love was better than life itself, and pledged to praise Him all his days. His faith sustained him throughout life: when he was a shepherd boy protecting sheep from attacks by wild animals, a young man defeating the giant Goliath, and the nation's anointed leader escaping King Saul's murderous plans. Whatever circumstances David found himself in, he sought the Lord and gave priority to their relationship.
David saw God as the source of life: David viewed the world from a God-centered perspective. He was filled with wonder and astonishment at the Lord's creative power in the world. He relied on God for protection and strength, and proclaimed complete dedication and allegiance to Him in his writings. He prayed frequently with strong passion and conviction. He lifted his prayers and petitions to God in the morning and patiently waited on God for His response: “In the morning, O Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait in expectation” (Psalm 5:3). At night he'd continue communing with God: “On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night” (Psalm 63:6). Both actions of praying and meditating on God's character, fueled David’s faith and trust in the Lord.
A heart for God begins with a pure heart: The heart represents the seat of our mind, will, and emotions. When we strive to keep it pure, we will more easily discern the Lord’s plan, submit our will to His, and follow Him obediently. Reaching our full potential begins with a desire to obey Him. However, each of us was born with a nature bent away from God. Jeremiah 17:9 describes the heart as deceitful and inclined towards wickedness. The best way to maintain a pure heart is by meditating on Scripture. The Bible is like a mirror in which we see ourselves as God does, in both successes and failures. Expressing genuine repentance brings God’s forgiveness and cleansing (1 John 1:9). Cooperating with the Holy Spirit’s transforming work will also help us keep our hearts clean. Becoming the person God planned for each of us to be requires an intimate relationship with Him and a desire to obey His Word. Apart from Jesus, we can’t achieve anything of lasting value (John 15:5).
August 22, 2012
How to Hold On
“In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil” (Job 1:1).
Job was a model father, completely dedicated to God and his children. His family got along well. His family was wealthy. With plenty of money to go around and everyone getting along so well, it is easy to understand why Job was so dedicated to God, right? Who wouldn’t be happy or content in this kind of environment? But as the story goes we learn that one day, he lost everything (Job 1:13-22). Job was a man who knew trouble and temptation, and yet he boldly claimed, "Though He slay me, I will hope in Him" (Job 13:15). Job had lost his children, home, servants, fortune, and his health, but he refused to abandon his trust in God. Even though Job experienced tremendous loss, he was committed to put his hope and faith in the Lord.
The most telling picture of Job’s faithfulness came as he sat among the ashes, an ancient symbol of mourning, scraping his sores with a piece of broken pottery. His wife, who had experienced the same gut-wrenching losses as Job, offered her advice. In a fit of rage, she verbally attacked Job and his faith in God: “Why not just end it all, Job? Just curse God and die” (Job 2:9). Job knew better. His faith in God didn’t depend on possessions or, for that matter, even his family or his own physical health. He knew that the Ruler of his life had every right to allow such afflictions. He had taken a step deeper than most of us will do: “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” (Job 2:10).
When we take our eyes off the busyness of day-to-day activity and events, and instead, concentrate on honoring God and following in His ways, we find a consistent peace that carries us through both times of plenty and in need. Commit to trust and follow Him through any setbacks, difficulty, and temptations. God, who never changes, is committed to caring for you in all circumstances and will never leave you or forget you.
Unwavering commitment to trust the Lord in all situations is a cornerstone of unshakable faith. It is easy to be distracted by circumstances and allow them to dictate our emotions. But if that's the case, then when life is good, we're happy; when times are tough, we're frustrated; and when difficulty comes, we're downright miserable and looking for escape in sex, food, alcohol, drugs, work, activity, or give-up all together. Unlike Job, we are fortunate to have Scripture, which reveals God's nature and promises. It is a wise believer who claims those promises when enduring hardship. The Bible tells us that our Father is always good, always just, always faithful, and always trustworthy. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Heb. 13:8). “Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Heb. 13:5).
Job went on to live a long and prosperous life. “The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first” (Job 42:12). Through it all, Job learned humility, and gained a greater understanding of God’s mercy and grace. Just as Job’s life was restored, our loving Heavenly Father wants to restore you completely. What difficult circumstances are you experiencing that are blocking your faith and hope in the Lord?
Job was a model father, completely dedicated to God and his children. His family got along well. His family was wealthy. With plenty of money to go around and everyone getting along so well, it is easy to understand why Job was so dedicated to God, right? Who wouldn’t be happy or content in this kind of environment? But as the story goes we learn that one day, he lost everything (Job 1:13-22). Job was a man who knew trouble and temptation, and yet he boldly claimed, "Though He slay me, I will hope in Him" (Job 13:15). Job had lost his children, home, servants, fortune, and his health, but he refused to abandon his trust in God. Even though Job experienced tremendous loss, he was committed to put his hope and faith in the Lord.
The most telling picture of Job’s faithfulness came as he sat among the ashes, an ancient symbol of mourning, scraping his sores with a piece of broken pottery. His wife, who had experienced the same gut-wrenching losses as Job, offered her advice. In a fit of rage, she verbally attacked Job and his faith in God: “Why not just end it all, Job? Just curse God and die” (Job 2:9). Job knew better. His faith in God didn’t depend on possessions or, for that matter, even his family or his own physical health. He knew that the Ruler of his life had every right to allow such afflictions. He had taken a step deeper than most of us will do: “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” (Job 2:10).
When we take our eyes off the busyness of day-to-day activity and events, and instead, concentrate on honoring God and following in His ways, we find a consistent peace that carries us through both times of plenty and in need. Commit to trust and follow Him through any setbacks, difficulty, and temptations. God, who never changes, is committed to caring for you in all circumstances and will never leave you or forget you.
Unwavering commitment to trust the Lord in all situations is a cornerstone of unshakable faith. It is easy to be distracted by circumstances and allow them to dictate our emotions. But if that's the case, then when life is good, we're happy; when times are tough, we're frustrated; and when difficulty comes, we're downright miserable and looking for escape in sex, food, alcohol, drugs, work, activity, or give-up all together. Unlike Job, we are fortunate to have Scripture, which reveals God's nature and promises. It is a wise believer who claims those promises when enduring hardship. The Bible tells us that our Father is always good, always just, always faithful, and always trustworthy. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Heb. 13:8). “Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Heb. 13:5).
Job went on to live a long and prosperous life. “The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first” (Job 42:12). Through it all, Job learned humility, and gained a greater understanding of God’s mercy and grace. Just as Job’s life was restored, our loving Heavenly Father wants to restore you completely. What difficult circumstances are you experiencing that are blocking your faith and hope in the Lord?
August 10, 2012
Growth is Cultivating Godly Character
Godly character comes from cultivating daily habits like Bible meditation and prayer. The result of those habits is evidence in your character. There are three major reasons why we must learn character. First it reveals the nature of Christ who is the perfect fulfillment of each quality. Second, it is the basis for success in life. Third, it explains why things happen to us (principle of cause and effect).
Attentiveness: Attentiveness is giving your attention to what you value. Attentive people are aware of that which is taking place around them so they can have the right response to them. Attentiveness is considerate, polite, and mindful of others. A person who is attentive is alert and fully aware, quick to understand, watchful and ready to act. “If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task.” (1Timothy 3:1).
Obedience: Even though we do not fully understand God’s ways, we are to surrender our lives in obedience to Him. Obedience requires availability, not self-centeredness. God is more interested in our availability than our ability. Godly character places values ahead of feelings. It is doing things for the sake of us instead of it being all about self. Godly character has a transcendence cause: seeing the bigger picture and a larger reality than your own. “You have purified yourselves by obeying the truth” (1Peter 1:22).
Truthfulness: Truth is real, genuine and authentic. Truthful people adjust themselves to actual facts and reality. Godly character is being who you really are with different people, in different circumstances. Its concern is the motive of the heart, instead of reputation and popularity. Truthful people are honorable in principles and intentions. They are fair, sincere, bold, and honest. “A truthful witness gives honest testimony” (Proverbs 12:17).
Thankfulness: Gratefulness and appreciation is an expression of thankfulness. A thankful heart takes great delight and pleasure in his gift or reward. Thankfulness is much more than an emotion; it requires action. We are thankful for our blessings so we joyfully serve and give to others. God knows we are thankful through enthusiastic worship and a humble, cheerful attitude. Thankfulness follows contentment. A person who is content is satisfied with whatever they have. (see Colossians 2:6-7).
Patience: Patience has the ability to be quiet, steady, diligent, and persevere when in difficult circumstances. Patient people are able and willing to endure annoyances, mistakes, and even pain and suffering. Patience is gentleness, persistency, and flexibility. “Love is patient, love is kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4).
Loyalty: Loyalty is determined, supports and serves a purpose or cause. Loyalty is being a faithful and devoted to a person, group, or place (friend, family, church or country). A person who incorporates loyalty into his character is reliable, dependable and dedicated. Even when the odds are against them, loyalty is courageous and endures. “Moses was faithful as a servant in all God’s house” (Hebrews 3:5).
Wisdom: The wise are discreet (tactful) and prudent (careful, cautious), in what they say and do. Wisdom is having the ability to discern and judge properly as to what is true and correct. Wisdom enlightens and illuminates. Wisdom shows the way, guides and directs. Hating evil is the beginning of wisdom. Wisdom is righteous and just. Those who seek justice seek what is right and fair. “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil” (Proverbs 15:28). “The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom and humility comes before honor” (Proverbs 15:33).
Attentiveness: Attentiveness is giving your attention to what you value. Attentive people are aware of that which is taking place around them so they can have the right response to them. Attentiveness is considerate, polite, and mindful of others. A person who is attentive is alert and fully aware, quick to understand, watchful and ready to act. “If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task.” (1Timothy 3:1).
Obedience: Even though we do not fully understand God’s ways, we are to surrender our lives in obedience to Him. Obedience requires availability, not self-centeredness. God is more interested in our availability than our ability. Godly character places values ahead of feelings. It is doing things for the sake of us instead of it being all about self. Godly character has a transcendence cause: seeing the bigger picture and a larger reality than your own. “You have purified yourselves by obeying the truth” (1Peter 1:22).
Truthfulness: Truth is real, genuine and authentic. Truthful people adjust themselves to actual facts and reality. Godly character is being who you really are with different people, in different circumstances. Its concern is the motive of the heart, instead of reputation and popularity. Truthful people are honorable in principles and intentions. They are fair, sincere, bold, and honest. “A truthful witness gives honest testimony” (Proverbs 12:17).
Thankfulness: Gratefulness and appreciation is an expression of thankfulness. A thankful heart takes great delight and pleasure in his gift or reward. Thankfulness is much more than an emotion; it requires action. We are thankful for our blessings so we joyfully serve and give to others. God knows we are thankful through enthusiastic worship and a humble, cheerful attitude. Thankfulness follows contentment. A person who is content is satisfied with whatever they have. (see Colossians 2:6-7).
Patience: Patience has the ability to be quiet, steady, diligent, and persevere when in difficult circumstances. Patient people are able and willing to endure annoyances, mistakes, and even pain and suffering. Patience is gentleness, persistency, and flexibility. “Love is patient, love is kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4).
Loyalty: Loyalty is determined, supports and serves a purpose or cause. Loyalty is being a faithful and devoted to a person, group, or place (friend, family, church or country). A person who incorporates loyalty into his character is reliable, dependable and dedicated. Even when the odds are against them, loyalty is courageous and endures. “Moses was faithful as a servant in all God’s house” (Hebrews 3:5).
Wisdom: The wise are discreet (tactful) and prudent (careful, cautious), in what they say and do. Wisdom is having the ability to discern and judge properly as to what is true and correct. Wisdom enlightens and illuminates. Wisdom shows the way, guides and directs. Hating evil is the beginning of wisdom. Wisdom is righteous and just. Those who seek justice seek what is right and fair. “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil” (Proverbs 15:28). “The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom and humility comes before honor” (Proverbs 15:33).
Resolving conflict through Godly Character Development
People often put up walls thinking that is the only way to protect themselves. Walls provide a false sense of security because they are barriers that keep you locked up in the past. A boundary is an authentic security when personal responsibility is practiced. Practicing boundaries provides freedom to try something different that helps you to move into a meaningful future. Learning to practice boundaries is not without much effort and practice. The Bible offers us this truth: “It is freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).
Boundary overview: Boundaries, in a broad sense, are lines or things that mark a limit or border. Personal boundaries are a property line and separate what is yours, and what belongs to another person. We need to take responsibility for what’s inside our property lines and let other’s take responsibility for what belongs to them within their own property lines. Boundaries are foundational to a sense of identity, ownership, responsibility, and stewardship. Personal boundaries define your identity, that is who you are and who you are not. We are to be connected to others without losing our own identity and individuality.
Healthy confrontation is love: Learning to connect to others does not come without its challenges. Confrontation is dealing with the hurtfulness and sin in us and others. These can include verbal attacks, control, entitlement, irresponsibility, rebellion, critics, self-centeredness, and many others. Learning to say “no”, or learning to say “stop”, setting limits and enforcing consequences are all part of the boundary setting process. Balance is found when a reasonable issue is discussed in a proper manner. Address behavior patterns more than events. The goal is to resolve conflict. “Make every effort to live in peace with all men” (Hebrews 12:14). We are to accept one another, faults and all, even though we may not approve of their actions. Decide for yourself how much quality time you can afford to invest in those who do not respect your convictions. Ultimately, it is your responsibility and choice for what you allow and permit.
Strength is found in Christ: Our goal is to become more like Christ. Learning to resolve conflict is part of the process. “For we are God’s workmanship” (Ephesians 2:10). “Be imitators of God, as dearly loved children” (Ephesians 5:1). God is our refuge and our strength. God has given us His Spirit that lives within to empower us: “I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with His power through His Spirit in your inner being” (Ephesians 3:16). The inner being Paul mentions is Godly character: “And I pray that you be rooted and established in love” (Ephesians 3:17).
Think it, say it, and believe it: “My purpose is to develop Godly character and to become more like Christ. I am becoming more responsibility for taking ownership of what belongs to me. I am learning to love others by validating their freedom to think and choose, as they decide for themselves. These Godly principles of truth provide me structure and direction for my life. I will be a good steward of all my own personal aspects God has given me. Amen.”
Boundary overview: Boundaries, in a broad sense, are lines or things that mark a limit or border. Personal boundaries are a property line and separate what is yours, and what belongs to another person. We need to take responsibility for what’s inside our property lines and let other’s take responsibility for what belongs to them within their own property lines. Boundaries are foundational to a sense of identity, ownership, responsibility, and stewardship. Personal boundaries define your identity, that is who you are and who you are not. We are to be connected to others without losing our own identity and individuality.
Healthy confrontation is love: Learning to connect to others does not come without its challenges. Confrontation is dealing with the hurtfulness and sin in us and others. These can include verbal attacks, control, entitlement, irresponsibility, rebellion, critics, self-centeredness, and many others. Learning to say “no”, or learning to say “stop”, setting limits and enforcing consequences are all part of the boundary setting process. Balance is found when a reasonable issue is discussed in a proper manner. Address behavior patterns more than events. The goal is to resolve conflict. “Make every effort to live in peace with all men” (Hebrews 12:14). We are to accept one another, faults and all, even though we may not approve of their actions. Decide for yourself how much quality time you can afford to invest in those who do not respect your convictions. Ultimately, it is your responsibility and choice for what you allow and permit.
Strength is found in Christ: Our goal is to become more like Christ. Learning to resolve conflict is part of the process. “For we are God’s workmanship” (Ephesians 2:10). “Be imitators of God, as dearly loved children” (Ephesians 5:1). God is our refuge and our strength. God has given us His Spirit that lives within to empower us: “I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with His power through His Spirit in your inner being” (Ephesians 3:16). The inner being Paul mentions is Godly character: “And I pray that you be rooted and established in love” (Ephesians 3:17).
Think it, say it, and believe it: “My purpose is to develop Godly character and to become more like Christ. I am becoming more responsibility for taking ownership of what belongs to me. I am learning to love others by validating their freedom to think and choose, as they decide for themselves. These Godly principles of truth provide me structure and direction for my life. I will be a good steward of all my own personal aspects God has given me. Amen.”
The Old and New Covenants
What is a covenant? A covenant is a promise or agreement between two parties binding them to undertakings on each other’s behalf. Throughout the history of humanity, God has related to man through His covenants.
The Old Covenant: The Old Testament deals essentially with the Old Covenant. The Covenant of Abraham reveals God’s plan to save a people and take them into His land. The Old Covenant neither brought, nor brings justification to anyone. Justification and salvation could be obtained only in the way of faith. So Abraham and all Old Covenant saints were justified by faith, and the Old Covenant was merely to illustrate that law. The Old Covenant with the nation of Israel and the promise land is a temporary picture of what is accomplished by the New Covenant where Jesus actually purchased a people and will take them to be with Him forever in the new heavens and new earth. The Old or Mosaic Covenant is a legal or works covenant that God made with Israel on Mount Sinai that is brought to an end or fulfilled at the cross. It was never intended to save people but instead its purpose was to increase sin and guilt until the coming of the Savior. The version of law in the Old Covenant era was the Mosaic Law, which included the Ten Commandments. The version of law in the New Covenant era is the law of Christ, which includes the commands of Christ that pertain to the New Covenant era and the commands of his Apostles.
The New Covenant: The New Testament deals essentially with the new covenant. However, the new covenant does not actually begin with the four Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. For the most part, these four books deal with the life of Jesus before the Cross. The new covenant begins after the resurrection of Jesus, and represents God’s grace and unmerited favor. The New Covenant is the covenant of grace in which Jesus purchased a people by his death on the cross so that all those for whom he died will receive full forgiveness of sins and become incurable God-lovers.
To understand the New Covenant we look the entire Bible as a progressive revealing of the Covenant of Grace, and that includes the Old Covenant. It carries over the old order into the new in the sense that it is understood that the Old Covenant laws are not done away with (made null and void); rather they are fulfilled or completed (for the believer only) in Christ. In this way, the old conditional promise has become new and unconditional. The scriptures also teach that the Old Covenant laws are still binding, but we can only fully keep them in Christ Jesus. In Him alone we keep them perfectly. In other words, He is our Sabbath of rest that we will keep forever, and He is our daily or continual sacrifice, our Lamb of atonement. Jesus taught that what He came to do in His life, and the work that He accomplished, was the fulfillment and the true substance of all the Old Covenant 'shadows or types' that merely prefigured it. Those laws are all still kept in Him. Are you living under the Covenant of grace or are you living under the Covenant of the Law?
The Old Covenant: The Old Testament deals essentially with the Old Covenant. The Covenant of Abraham reveals God’s plan to save a people and take them into His land. The Old Covenant neither brought, nor brings justification to anyone. Justification and salvation could be obtained only in the way of faith. So Abraham and all Old Covenant saints were justified by faith, and the Old Covenant was merely to illustrate that law. The Old Covenant with the nation of Israel and the promise land is a temporary picture of what is accomplished by the New Covenant where Jesus actually purchased a people and will take them to be with Him forever in the new heavens and new earth. The Old or Mosaic Covenant is a legal or works covenant that God made with Israel on Mount Sinai that is brought to an end or fulfilled at the cross. It was never intended to save people but instead its purpose was to increase sin and guilt until the coming of the Savior. The version of law in the Old Covenant era was the Mosaic Law, which included the Ten Commandments. The version of law in the New Covenant era is the law of Christ, which includes the commands of Christ that pertain to the New Covenant era and the commands of his Apostles.
The New Covenant: The New Testament deals essentially with the new covenant. However, the new covenant does not actually begin with the four Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. For the most part, these four books deal with the life of Jesus before the Cross. The new covenant begins after the resurrection of Jesus, and represents God’s grace and unmerited favor. The New Covenant is the covenant of grace in which Jesus purchased a people by his death on the cross so that all those for whom he died will receive full forgiveness of sins and become incurable God-lovers.
To understand the New Covenant we look the entire Bible as a progressive revealing of the Covenant of Grace, and that includes the Old Covenant. It carries over the old order into the new in the sense that it is understood that the Old Covenant laws are not done away with (made null and void); rather they are fulfilled or completed (for the believer only) in Christ. In this way, the old conditional promise has become new and unconditional. The scriptures also teach that the Old Covenant laws are still binding, but we can only fully keep them in Christ Jesus. In Him alone we keep them perfectly. In other words, He is our Sabbath of rest that we will keep forever, and He is our daily or continual sacrifice, our Lamb of atonement. Jesus taught that what He came to do in His life, and the work that He accomplished, was the fulfillment and the true substance of all the Old Covenant 'shadows or types' that merely prefigured it. Those laws are all still kept in Him. Are you living under the Covenant of grace or are you living under the Covenant of the Law?
August 9, 2012
Proven Faith
"Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls" (1 Peter 1:8-9).
Faith is one of the most central themes in the Bible and central elements in the Christian walk. Faith is the means by which we enter into salvation. From then onward, our faith, or lack of it, shapes our lives and determines what happens to us when loss, difficulties, and set-backs come. Some Christians never lose their firm beliefs, but others become fearful when problems arise. To understand why this is true, we need to examine the source of our faith.
Inherited faith: If you grew up in a Christian home, you probably adopted some of the beliefs of your parents. This kind of godly foundation is a wonderful gift from the Lord, but eventually, each person must assume responsibility for his own beliefs.
Textbook faith: The Bible is the ultimate guide for establishing our beliefs. But that’s not the only source of influence. Books, preachers, teachers, and friends all impact our convictions. Our theology may be sound, but faith is merely mental acceptance until it’s put to the test.
Proven Faith: Only when we trust the Lord through the fires of adversity will we have faith that can stand. It is no longer based on what others have told us or what we’ve accepted as true but on our firsthand experience of His faithfulness.
To evaluate your faith, consider how you react when trouble appears. Do you press closer to God or do you get angry at Him? Is your attitude one of praise and thankfulness because He’s making you more like Jesus, or are you bitter? No one can escape problems in life, but those with proven faith will benefit from it.
Faith is one of the most central themes in the Bible and central elements in the Christian walk. Faith is the means by which we enter into salvation. From then onward, our faith, or lack of it, shapes our lives and determines what happens to us when loss, difficulties, and set-backs come. Some Christians never lose their firm beliefs, but others become fearful when problems arise. To understand why this is true, we need to examine the source of our faith.
Inherited faith: If you grew up in a Christian home, you probably adopted some of the beliefs of your parents. This kind of godly foundation is a wonderful gift from the Lord, but eventually, each person must assume responsibility for his own beliefs.
Textbook faith: The Bible is the ultimate guide for establishing our beliefs. But that’s not the only source of influence. Books, preachers, teachers, and friends all impact our convictions. Our theology may be sound, but faith is merely mental acceptance until it’s put to the test.
Proven Faith: Only when we trust the Lord through the fires of adversity will we have faith that can stand. It is no longer based on what others have told us or what we’ve accepted as true but on our firsthand experience of His faithfulness.
To evaluate your faith, consider how you react when trouble appears. Do you press closer to God or do you get angry at Him? Is your attitude one of praise and thankfulness because He’s making you more like Jesus, or are you bitter? No one can escape problems in life, but those with proven faith will benefit from it.
August 3, 2012
Walls vs. Boundaries
A wall confines you to a past that cannot be changed and guarantees a future of more of the same. A boundary can open up the future, because it marks a change from the way things have always been done in the past. Both provide some type of protection, but the protection of a wall limits all the positive outcomes, whereas a boundary has unlimited potential to secure a future of hope and healing.
Walls are about living in the past: Walls see other people as all-bad. People who create walls try to control everything and everybody around them instead of controlling the one thing they have control over: self. Walls are constructs of isolation and loneliness. Walls prevent you from building healthy connections and community. A wall cuts you off from all options and keeps you needlessly confined to the traumas of the past. Living in the past does not allow recognition of the fact that time has moved on. Staying stuck in the past is self-imposed, needless prison, confining a person to attitudes and limitations that have no basis in their present reality. Things that were feared before no longer have power if one lives in the present and not in the past. If you build a wall around your past, you are essentially protecting your past rather than yourself. If you are feeling anger, fear, or guilt, there is a good chance you building a wall to hide behind, preventing others from knowing the truth about you.
Boundaries are about personal responsibility: Boundaries are created because a person has discovered the truth about themselves and has acted upon it. Boundaries are not built on anger, fear, and guilt. Boundaries grow out of a new willingness to try something different that might help them to move beyond their negative emotions. Boundaries require courage. Brave people set up boundaries that lead them into a new territory that is full of healthy options and meaningful relationships. A boundary is not a wall. Boundaries keep the bad stuff out and the good stuff in. Boundaries are portable; you can take them with you, just like your skin protects what’s inside you because it creates a healthy barrier, insulating you from the unhealthy elements of life. A boundary is about taking personal ownership and responsibility for that which belongs to you including what you think, feel, and do. It is a statement of what I will do, what I have chosen, and what will be the outcome on my part, whether or not the other person gets the help or makes the changes needed. A boundary setting person understands they cannot change their past. They do what they can do today, to make a better future. A boundary protects you by leaving the past behind.
Everyday living: Walls are about having a victim mentality. Walls are used to make demands on the other person or nag them about the changes they should make. This approach causes the other person to build up defenses. A boundary works much more positively. It challenges the other person to drop the defenses and look at what needs to be changed. A wall is a barrier, whereas a boundary is a beginning of a whole new attitude and a new way of being. A Boundary stops you from walking into walls and allows you to walk into the future with God and others in a healthy, life giving-giving community. Walls are something you need to get past. You have to tear them down, go around them, or climb over them. They are to be overcome and shattered so you can move on. You can stop walking into walls when you learn to set healthy boundaries.
Walls are about living in the past: Walls see other people as all-bad. People who create walls try to control everything and everybody around them instead of controlling the one thing they have control over: self. Walls are constructs of isolation and loneliness. Walls prevent you from building healthy connections and community. A wall cuts you off from all options and keeps you needlessly confined to the traumas of the past. Living in the past does not allow recognition of the fact that time has moved on. Staying stuck in the past is self-imposed, needless prison, confining a person to attitudes and limitations that have no basis in their present reality. Things that were feared before no longer have power if one lives in the present and not in the past. If you build a wall around your past, you are essentially protecting your past rather than yourself. If you are feeling anger, fear, or guilt, there is a good chance you building a wall to hide behind, preventing others from knowing the truth about you.
Boundaries are about personal responsibility: Boundaries are created because a person has discovered the truth about themselves and has acted upon it. Boundaries are not built on anger, fear, and guilt. Boundaries grow out of a new willingness to try something different that might help them to move beyond their negative emotions. Boundaries require courage. Brave people set up boundaries that lead them into a new territory that is full of healthy options and meaningful relationships. A boundary is not a wall. Boundaries keep the bad stuff out and the good stuff in. Boundaries are portable; you can take them with you, just like your skin protects what’s inside you because it creates a healthy barrier, insulating you from the unhealthy elements of life. A boundary is about taking personal ownership and responsibility for that which belongs to you including what you think, feel, and do. It is a statement of what I will do, what I have chosen, and what will be the outcome on my part, whether or not the other person gets the help or makes the changes needed. A boundary setting person understands they cannot change their past. They do what they can do today, to make a better future. A boundary protects you by leaving the past behind.
Everyday living: Walls are about having a victim mentality. Walls are used to make demands on the other person or nag them about the changes they should make. This approach causes the other person to build up defenses. A boundary works much more positively. It challenges the other person to drop the defenses and look at what needs to be changed. A wall is a barrier, whereas a boundary is a beginning of a whole new attitude and a new way of being. A Boundary stops you from walking into walls and allows you to walk into the future with God and others in a healthy, life giving-giving community. Walls are something you need to get past. You have to tear them down, go around them, or climb over them. They are to be overcome and shattered so you can move on. You can stop walking into walls when you learn to set healthy boundaries.
July 27, 2012
Moving into the Future
There is a process that leads to resolution. The Bible offers this guideline: “He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; he who cherishes understanding prospers” (Proverbs 19:8). You have moved beyond painful events in the past, when they no longer have any power and control over you. The following resolution concepts will help you move beyond walls that are blocking your future.
Examination: Take an honest look at your patterns you have developed and become a student of your own life. By looking at your life objectively, you can develop a plan that helps to stop the unhealthy reactions you usually have when things get uncomfortable. Look for the places that hold the most negative emotions like anger, fear and guilt, and what is behind those emotions. Resolving your issues is much easier than dealing with the consequences of failing to resolve them. (See Psalm 139:23).
Openness and confession: In order to get out from behind walls, we need to risk becoming open about the struggles we are going through. We also need to confess the sins we are committing. Openness provides an outlet to shame and stops it from adding up. Confession means we do not have to carry the shame with us. (See James 5:16).
Living in the present: Whatever happened in the past is over and done with. Begin to focus on what’s going on with you now like the good things in your life and the opportunities before you. (See Psalm 128:1-6, and Matthew 6:23-34).
Choosing to forgive: We must find a way to forgive the sins done to us and by us. There cannot be resolution without forgiveness. What the other person does is not the issue. You forgive to free yourself from the bondage to the person who has hurt you. (See Matthew 18:35, Mark 11:25, Luke 11:4, and Romans 12:14-21).
Choosing to let go: Choosing to let go is the act of turning your life and will over to God. Letting go is to believe and trust in God to control the outcome which allows you to be at peace and rest. (See 1Corinthians 13:3-13, James 3:13-18, and James 4:10).
Making amends and restitution: When people have hurt us, we want them to pay the price and make amends. On the other hand, others want the same from us if we have hurt them. We can live more comfortably with ourselves if we know we have done everything we can for the loss and pain we have caused. (See Proverbs 16:7).
Making a plan to protect yourself: It is very easy to fall back into your old ways and patterns that keep you stuck. By protecting yourself, you are less likely to have a relapse and get off track. You find protection by filling up your life with safe, healthy people who will help to guide and encourage you. Get plugged into a faith based group and get to know them, and let them get to know you. Practice spiritual disciplines including regular Bible reading and prayer (See Romans 8:5-11, and 1Peter 2:9).
Fulfilling the dream of reaching others: God has a purpose for your life. We need to secure our own growth by helping others in their process of healing. In doing so, we find meaning and purpose. (See Galatians 5:13 and 1Peter 4:10).
Examination: Take an honest look at your patterns you have developed and become a student of your own life. By looking at your life objectively, you can develop a plan that helps to stop the unhealthy reactions you usually have when things get uncomfortable. Look for the places that hold the most negative emotions like anger, fear and guilt, and what is behind those emotions. Resolving your issues is much easier than dealing with the consequences of failing to resolve them. (See Psalm 139:23).
Openness and confession: In order to get out from behind walls, we need to risk becoming open about the struggles we are going through. We also need to confess the sins we are committing. Openness provides an outlet to shame and stops it from adding up. Confession means we do not have to carry the shame with us. (See James 5:16).
Living in the present: Whatever happened in the past is over and done with. Begin to focus on what’s going on with you now like the good things in your life and the opportunities before you. (See Psalm 128:1-6, and Matthew 6:23-34).
Choosing to forgive: We must find a way to forgive the sins done to us and by us. There cannot be resolution without forgiveness. What the other person does is not the issue. You forgive to free yourself from the bondage to the person who has hurt you. (See Matthew 18:35, Mark 11:25, Luke 11:4, and Romans 12:14-21).
Choosing to let go: Choosing to let go is the act of turning your life and will over to God. Letting go is to believe and trust in God to control the outcome which allows you to be at peace and rest. (See 1Corinthians 13:3-13, James 3:13-18, and James 4:10).
Making amends and restitution: When people have hurt us, we want them to pay the price and make amends. On the other hand, others want the same from us if we have hurt them. We can live more comfortably with ourselves if we know we have done everything we can for the loss and pain we have caused. (See Proverbs 16:7).
Making a plan to protect yourself: It is very easy to fall back into your old ways and patterns that keep you stuck. By protecting yourself, you are less likely to have a relapse and get off track. You find protection by filling up your life with safe, healthy people who will help to guide and encourage you. Get plugged into a faith based group and get to know them, and let them get to know you. Practice spiritual disciplines including regular Bible reading and prayer (See Romans 8:5-11, and 1Peter 2:9).
Fulfilling the dream of reaching others: God has a purpose for your life. We need to secure our own growth by helping others in their process of healing. In doing so, we find meaning and purpose. (See Galatians 5:13 and 1Peter 4:10).
July 21, 2012
Getting a New Perspective
Getting unstuck is a process of giving up former views and attitudes. Getting a new perspective can help you get past your walls and move you toward healthier relationships, a life of contentment, a brighter future, and to begin living out the purpose God created you to accomplish.
Humility: The first step to getting a new perspective comes with humility. Humility allows us to see that we are all strugglers: “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard” (Romans 3:23). When we admit this fact, we take away our entitlement to blame and shame. We take the focus off the sin done to us and put more emphasis on the reality that we are human and therefore inclined to make mistakes. We must see ourselves as we really are; needy, broken, and in need of a savior.
The Holy Spirit: We do not have to live as a slave to our emotions and instincts, because God has given us a power that can control these troublesome impulses. If we want to move past walls, we must come to the place where we treat people better than they treat us. The power of the Holy Spirit that lives in us enables us to do that: “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you” (Acts 1:8). When humility and living in the power of God is added, walls come down: “Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2Corinthians 12:9). Instead of focusing on the past and the bad that has happened, begin to see the people who hurt you as having the same needs and begin to pray for them. Remind yourself that you have greatness within you and that you can conquer anything: “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).
Sharing the bond of imperfection: The next step toward widening your view of reality is an acknowledgment that the person who hurt you was raised in a broken world and most likely damaged in some way, which led them to become an abuser. It is simply being aware of the reality that all life on earth is imperfect. We share a bond of imperfection that comes out of God’s gift of free choice. The gift of choice frees you to make up your own mind and to choose your own priorities, but just as we make poor choices causing others to suffer, we also have felt the effects from the poor choices of others. If you can see your hurt in a context that we live in a broken world with broken people, it may lead you to a position where you gain a new perspective of your abuser and the event that has blocked your life.
Forgiving mind-set: The fourth step toward gaining a truer perspective is a mind-set that provides you with a new way of looking at the past and those who hurt you. In addition, it will allow you to connect with those in the present who continue to inflict pain and stir up trouble in your life. Not to be confused with the act of forgiveness, the spirit of forgiveness is a way of approaching all of life. You know that on any given day, you will have to forgive many slights, insults, and unintentional hurts. It becomes a daily habit of looking beyond the personal mistakes of others and making an effort to see good things that happen to you as God’s favor. In gratitude for God’s goodness, you gladly extend grace to others, including those who have hurt you. Are you ready to let go of resentment and begin to live your life in healthy freedom from the past?
Humility: The first step to getting a new perspective comes with humility. Humility allows us to see that we are all strugglers: “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard” (Romans 3:23). When we admit this fact, we take away our entitlement to blame and shame. We take the focus off the sin done to us and put more emphasis on the reality that we are human and therefore inclined to make mistakes. We must see ourselves as we really are; needy, broken, and in need of a savior.
The Holy Spirit: We do not have to live as a slave to our emotions and instincts, because God has given us a power that can control these troublesome impulses. If we want to move past walls, we must come to the place where we treat people better than they treat us. The power of the Holy Spirit that lives in us enables us to do that: “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you” (Acts 1:8). When humility and living in the power of God is added, walls come down: “Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2Corinthians 12:9). Instead of focusing on the past and the bad that has happened, begin to see the people who hurt you as having the same needs and begin to pray for them. Remind yourself that you have greatness within you and that you can conquer anything: “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).
Sharing the bond of imperfection: The next step toward widening your view of reality is an acknowledgment that the person who hurt you was raised in a broken world and most likely damaged in some way, which led them to become an abuser. It is simply being aware of the reality that all life on earth is imperfect. We share a bond of imperfection that comes out of God’s gift of free choice. The gift of choice frees you to make up your own mind and to choose your own priorities, but just as we make poor choices causing others to suffer, we also have felt the effects from the poor choices of others. If you can see your hurt in a context that we live in a broken world with broken people, it may lead you to a position where you gain a new perspective of your abuser and the event that has blocked your life.
Forgiving mind-set: The fourth step toward gaining a truer perspective is a mind-set that provides you with a new way of looking at the past and those who hurt you. In addition, it will allow you to connect with those in the present who continue to inflict pain and stir up trouble in your life. Not to be confused with the act of forgiveness, the spirit of forgiveness is a way of approaching all of life. You know that on any given day, you will have to forgive many slights, insults, and unintentional hurts. It becomes a daily habit of looking beyond the personal mistakes of others and making an effort to see good things that happen to you as God’s favor. In gratitude for God’s goodness, you gladly extend grace to others, including those who have hurt you. Are you ready to let go of resentment and begin to live your life in healthy freedom from the past?
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