Stubborn resistance is an internal wall that blocks the efforts to achieve your dreams and goals. Stubborn resistance can keep you from seeing your blind spots that feeds the belief that there is little or no hope for getting past the obstacles that prevents you from experiencing a new life. If you have been trying to improve your relationships, income, health, etc. and you are not seeing any measurable results, there is something blocking you from making that shift and moving forward.
Take a hard look: A stubborn person is someone that is difficult to handle and manage, much like a child or employee. Resistance is an opposing force. When you are stuck in a stubborn resistance mind-set, you hear words that would help you move past your walls but refuse to attend them. You have a hard time with going along with what others think even when those ideas could be helpful and good. You defend and rationalize your behaviors and attitudes. People build their whole identity around resisting the suggestions of others. They project their problems onto someone else, blaming others for their circumstances or for the way they are. They react to those who challenge them, because they will do anything they can to protect the walls they have created to avoid the pain of self-examination.
See the need: We are seldom willing to change until we first see the need. Open your mind to new possibilities. We become aware when we start to listen to others who are willing to speak into our lives. Opening our minds to the possibility of another person’s point of view is the way to begin to remove the walls that are holding you back. Open-mindedness is characterized by the ability to see things from another person’s perspective. Open-minded people are able to be quiet for a while and listen to someone else who may have something valuable to contribute. Open-minded people realize that they are not always right and that they need to make things right when they are wrong.
Change requires willingness: Open-mindedness is a valuable assessment tool, but it isn’t much help unless you follow-up with a willingness to act upon your new perspective. Some people have several dreams they will never experience or plans that they will never accomplish. A person of willingness moves beyond desire, to doing what it takes to make their life different. They move beyond good intentions and are willing to embrace change that leads to transformation.
Growth requires action: To grow relationally, emotionally, and spiritually does not just happen to us; it requires a great deal of effort but as we put the effort into the process, we will see the fruit and results. This doesn’t mean that we must do it all on our own or that God does it all. Our sanctification is a collaborative effort between both God and us. We have certain tasks, and He has certain tasks including preparing our hearts, setting up the circumstances, and bringing forth results from the growth work.
Review your life and consider the times you were stubborn and resistive to change and growth, missing opportunities God intended for you. Look at the reasons behind these and begin to work on them. What areas of your life may require a hard look, seeing the need, and willingness and action to get the results you desire?
June 30, 2012
June 22, 2012
The Wall of Blind Ignorance
Ignorance is the lack of knowledge and failing to learn new information. Blindness is a visual impairment and a lack of perception. To some degree or another, we all have personal blind spots that keep us from perceiving the grace and truth accurately that can set us free. Instead of change and growth, we bump into walls and barriers because we are blind to see our defects and areas that need work. Helen Keller once said that the saddest thing in life is a person who has sight but is blind. A common form of blindness is first learning to take out the log out of your own eye before you take out the speck of dust out from your neighbor’s eye. It seems we have 20/20 vision in seeing the faults of others. When it comes to seeing our own faults, we are as blind as a bat. (Mathew 7:3-5). The Bible tells us to renew our mind so we can know the perfect will of God (Romans 12:2). There are principles God created to show us how things work within His kingdom. The following three principles are a call of action to overcoming the wall of blind ignorance.
Get awareness: Sometimes we think we have it all together and we start to become comfortable with the ways things are. As long as we do the same things over and over, not allowing new people to speak truth into our lives, not trying on new ways of living or looking at ourselves, we will continue to miss the best of what God has for us. We don’t realize we need help until we open our lives to receiving help. Awareness is about getting the help you need. Sometimes you don’t know you need help until you get help. “Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning” (Proverbs 9:9).
Seek reality and truth: We all have blind spots when it comes to seeing ourselves. In some cases we don’t fully grasp the reality of our lives because we have no one willing to tell us the truth about ourselves. In other cases we blind ourselves to the truth so we won’t have to go through uncomfortable changes. Take the initiative to get information about your issues from God and others. The obedient mind seeks reality. John 8:31-32 tells us if we follow the teachings of Christ, we will come to know the truth, and we come to know the truth when we act on it. That’s when the truth becomes part of us and sets us free. You need to find where you are weak, broken, or immature. Ask God to search you (Psalm 139:23-24), using His presence, truth, circumstances, or other people. Take the initiative to face what you have been afraid to know.
Think it and do it: It would be natural to think the way around the wall of blind ignorance is knowledge only but that is not the case. Along with seeking reality and truth that sets us free, obedience is also the key to overcoming the walls of blind ignorance. “Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord” (Psalm 16:20). To know God’s will we have to do more than just read the Bible; we have to do what it says. Acting on truth removes the walls we bump into because truth leads us past walls that blind us, into reality. Out of this new mind-set of awareness, a whole new way of living emerges. A way that is obedient to truth. People who are obedient to truth will begin to see they have taken charge of their lives. They have a new wider view of reality and they act on it in responsible ways. Seeing the truth and acting on it brings down the wall of blind ignorance.
Get awareness: Sometimes we think we have it all together and we start to become comfortable with the ways things are. As long as we do the same things over and over, not allowing new people to speak truth into our lives, not trying on new ways of living or looking at ourselves, we will continue to miss the best of what God has for us. We don’t realize we need help until we open our lives to receiving help. Awareness is about getting the help you need. Sometimes you don’t know you need help until you get help. “Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning” (Proverbs 9:9).
Seek reality and truth: We all have blind spots when it comes to seeing ourselves. In some cases we don’t fully grasp the reality of our lives because we have no one willing to tell us the truth about ourselves. In other cases we blind ourselves to the truth so we won’t have to go through uncomfortable changes. Take the initiative to get information about your issues from God and others. The obedient mind seeks reality. John 8:31-32 tells us if we follow the teachings of Christ, we will come to know the truth, and we come to know the truth when we act on it. That’s when the truth becomes part of us and sets us free. You need to find where you are weak, broken, or immature. Ask God to search you (Psalm 139:23-24), using His presence, truth, circumstances, or other people. Take the initiative to face what you have been afraid to know.
Think it and do it: It would be natural to think the way around the wall of blind ignorance is knowledge only but that is not the case. Along with seeking reality and truth that sets us free, obedience is also the key to overcoming the walls of blind ignorance. “Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord” (Psalm 16:20). To know God’s will we have to do more than just read the Bible; we have to do what it says. Acting on truth removes the walls we bump into because truth leads us past walls that blind us, into reality. Out of this new mind-set of awareness, a whole new way of living emerges. A way that is obedient to truth. People who are obedient to truth will begin to see they have taken charge of their lives. They have a new wider view of reality and they act on it in responsible ways. Seeing the truth and acting on it brings down the wall of blind ignorance.
June 20, 2012
The Roles Time Plays
It is important to recognize the different roles that time plays in our growth and development. The following four principles are primary to the integration of the relational, emotional, and spiritual growth process, and the healing to past injury:
Accept the history: Most relationships will get strained at some time, resulting in their not functioning at their best. Often producing patterns of thinking and behavior that cause and maintain emotional problems, these patterns are accompanied by irrational beliefs, which are beliefs that are held even though they are not true. There are many possible reasons for this, including insecure attachment, ego, arrogance, jealousy, anger, greed, poor communication, lack of understanding or problem solving, ill health, third parties and others. Most spiritual, emotional, and relational issues have a history that reveals patterns that needs to be addressed. Accepting the history is awareness of the past hurt. Addressing the past hurt is an effort to recognize and to better manage or reconcile the troublesome past and therefore stop repeating patterns of distress. Acceptance becomes fuel that produces change. “Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the Lord delivers him in times of trouble” (Psalm 41:1).
Resolve past issues: An unresolved issue may mean that part of a person’s soul is still living in the past. When a person struggles, he or she experiences some part of themselves being injured or cut-off. This hurtful part can remain stuck in the original state in which it was hurt. It’s as if the person has left that part of themselves behind, still feeling alone, fearful, and overwhelmed in the present. “I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin” (Psalm 38:18). These relational, emotional, and spiritual needs can receive the grace and truth from God and others that brings the hurting parts of the past into the present, and from the immature or wounded state, into maturity and healing.
Re-experiencing trauma: When trauma is re-experienced, past and present is one. Often, as people feel safe in a growth context, their past will come back with a vengeance. The safety of love, grace, and structure makes it possible for them to bear what was previously unbearable. The goal is to take disturbing flashbacks into memories that are not disruptive and frightening. “Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress” (Psalm 107:6).
Forgiveness requires a past: Relationships have history. Many relationships have complex, severe, and enduring conflict. Changes in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses and actions of the individuals in a relationship. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts” (Psalm 139:23). Emotions are the target and the agent of change. Getting a better understanding of the past and accepting it as both as a fact as well as resolving the fractured parts of ourselves is the key to forgiving and living in the present. Forgiveness brings healing. When we forgive, we cancel the debt of another, and we are free to live without the need for revenge. When we receive forgiveness, we experience God’s freedom from our sin and guilt. Overcoming the hurts in the past ensures a better today. Be a person who uses the element of time to be willing to expose yourself to the same growth experiences repeatedly until you internalize them.
Accept the history: Most relationships will get strained at some time, resulting in their not functioning at their best. Often producing patterns of thinking and behavior that cause and maintain emotional problems, these patterns are accompanied by irrational beliefs, which are beliefs that are held even though they are not true. There are many possible reasons for this, including insecure attachment, ego, arrogance, jealousy, anger, greed, poor communication, lack of understanding or problem solving, ill health, third parties and others. Most spiritual, emotional, and relational issues have a history that reveals patterns that needs to be addressed. Accepting the history is awareness of the past hurt. Addressing the past hurt is an effort to recognize and to better manage or reconcile the troublesome past and therefore stop repeating patterns of distress. Acceptance becomes fuel that produces change. “Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the Lord delivers him in times of trouble” (Psalm 41:1).
Resolve past issues: An unresolved issue may mean that part of a person’s soul is still living in the past. When a person struggles, he or she experiences some part of themselves being injured or cut-off. This hurtful part can remain stuck in the original state in which it was hurt. It’s as if the person has left that part of themselves behind, still feeling alone, fearful, and overwhelmed in the present. “I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin” (Psalm 38:18). These relational, emotional, and spiritual needs can receive the grace and truth from God and others that brings the hurting parts of the past into the present, and from the immature or wounded state, into maturity and healing.
Re-experiencing trauma: When trauma is re-experienced, past and present is one. Often, as people feel safe in a growth context, their past will come back with a vengeance. The safety of love, grace, and structure makes it possible for them to bear what was previously unbearable. The goal is to take disturbing flashbacks into memories that are not disruptive and frightening. “Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress” (Psalm 107:6).
Forgiveness requires a past: Relationships have history. Many relationships have complex, severe, and enduring conflict. Changes in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses and actions of the individuals in a relationship. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts” (Psalm 139:23). Emotions are the target and the agent of change. Getting a better understanding of the past and accepting it as both as a fact as well as resolving the fractured parts of ourselves is the key to forgiving and living in the present. Forgiveness brings healing. When we forgive, we cancel the debt of another, and we are free to live without the need for revenge. When we receive forgiveness, we experience God’s freedom from our sin and guilt. Overcoming the hurts in the past ensures a better today. Be a person who uses the element of time to be willing to expose yourself to the same growth experiences repeatedly until you internalize them.
June 15, 2012
The Wall of Disconnected Isolation
Walls are limits that stifle change. Walls keep us from strengthening and developing our important relationships and our full potential. Walls are not permanent or impenetrable: “With your help I can advance against a troop, with my God I can scale a wall” (Psalm 18:29). Without people who help us to grow and staying isolated from those relationships that bring out the truth about ourselves, we don’t experience who we really are and we remain unaware of the areas in which we need to mature. Passivity and stagnation becomes comfortable so we stop pursuing the path of maturity and wisdom that God wants for us. Life may seem easier when we are alone but that is an illusion. Without the connectedness of others, we find our lives empty and we stop thriving.
Root cause: People who have developed disconnected lives rarely see the need to change. Disconnected isolation is often rooted in rejection. They did not plan to be disconnected or isolated, but after experiencing enough rejection and humiliation from family or others, they withdrew behind the wall of isolation as a self-protection against further hurt and so the pattern is set. The inability to empathize with another’s pain is a common cause of disconnected isolation. Once people sense that you are not sensitive to the reality of their pain, it is likely they will not want to continue to deepen the relationship. This lack of empathy can stem from being overly focused on one’s own pain and issues, or a disregard for the other person’s value. You can get so caught up in your own sufferings that you no longer care about the plight of others. Another disconnector may be your own neediness. If you are in some kind of continual pain, you may be projecting a clinging type of neediness that will drive others away. They cannot meet the demands that you put on the relationship, so they reject you.
Take a look at yourself: We relate in the ways we have been taught or modeled for us. If what we have learned has not been healthy, often we usually repeat the same relational errors because that’s all we know. We are convinced that what we have learned is how relationships are meant to work. If you are willing to open up to a trusted friend or group, and allow them to give you some honest feedback to help you uncover the truth, you may discover that you lack an understanding of your roles in relationships. Sometimes, we think it is our role to lead when it would be better to cooperate. We may find that we are too dominate or too passive, too demanding or too subservient, too self-protecting or too revealing. Taking a hard look at yourself may reveal how the roles you have taken, produce the results that you do not want.
Intimacy creates change: Hurts from the past keep us in isolation. We either attack others to keep them away or, withdraw from them all together. We think our greatest need is to protect ourselves from further suffering, but it is not. Our real need is safe connections that help us to view the world in a different way. Staying stuck in the past will keep you running and bumping into walls until you open your eyes to the truth. As you relate to people who care for you and open themselves up, you begin to see your own flaws. Experiencing intimacy in healthy connections helps you to see the truth by enlarging your perspective. Healthy intimacy provides another person’s point of view, which opens your mind and heart to new ways of looking at the bigger picture. What reason are you avoiding intimacy?
Root cause: People who have developed disconnected lives rarely see the need to change. Disconnected isolation is often rooted in rejection. They did not plan to be disconnected or isolated, but after experiencing enough rejection and humiliation from family or others, they withdrew behind the wall of isolation as a self-protection against further hurt and so the pattern is set. The inability to empathize with another’s pain is a common cause of disconnected isolation. Once people sense that you are not sensitive to the reality of their pain, it is likely they will not want to continue to deepen the relationship. This lack of empathy can stem from being overly focused on one’s own pain and issues, or a disregard for the other person’s value. You can get so caught up in your own sufferings that you no longer care about the plight of others. Another disconnector may be your own neediness. If you are in some kind of continual pain, you may be projecting a clinging type of neediness that will drive others away. They cannot meet the demands that you put on the relationship, so they reject you.
Take a look at yourself: We relate in the ways we have been taught or modeled for us. If what we have learned has not been healthy, often we usually repeat the same relational errors because that’s all we know. We are convinced that what we have learned is how relationships are meant to work. If you are willing to open up to a trusted friend or group, and allow them to give you some honest feedback to help you uncover the truth, you may discover that you lack an understanding of your roles in relationships. Sometimes, we think it is our role to lead when it would be better to cooperate. We may find that we are too dominate or too passive, too demanding or too subservient, too self-protecting or too revealing. Taking a hard look at yourself may reveal how the roles you have taken, produce the results that you do not want.
Intimacy creates change: Hurts from the past keep us in isolation. We either attack others to keep them away or, withdraw from them all together. We think our greatest need is to protect ourselves from further suffering, but it is not. Our real need is safe connections that help us to view the world in a different way. Staying stuck in the past will keep you running and bumping into walls until you open your eyes to the truth. As you relate to people who care for you and open themselves up, you begin to see your own flaws. Experiencing intimacy in healthy connections helps you to see the truth by enlarging your perspective. Healthy intimacy provides another person’s point of view, which opens your mind and heart to new ways of looking at the bigger picture. What reason are you avoiding intimacy?
June 12, 2012
Growth Stuff That Takes Time
We all want to grow in our relationships, an emotional area, address some specific issue, or simply want to grow spiritually. It seems as if there is a spiritual life where we learn about God and we grow in a relationship with Him. Then it seems there is the emotional and relational life where we learn how to deal with real life problems. As we do our part, we can get what we have learned and stored up in our heads, and down into the heart so it all becomes one. Taking in grace, learning truth, practicing, failing, and other repeated exposure to the elements of growth are all parts to the process:
Experience versus intellectual learning: Spiritual growth should affect relational problems, emotional problems, and all other problems of life. Spiritual growth involves the whole person. All of our parts need to be exposed to God’s love and healing: heart, soul, and mind (see Matthew 22:37). Growth is much more than just a mental understanding or memorizing a fact, idea, or principle. Understanding and memorization is the mind working, which is a necessary component of growth but if that were all there was to growth then you could just memorize a list and then you would be done. While a thorough understanding of God’s ways are certainly a requirement, even the Bible itself teaches that knowing truth is not enough and that we have to do what it says (see James 1:22-25). We need to add experience to our intellectual understanding of growth, what people call those eighteen inches between the head and the heart. It takes time to experience grace and the forgiveness of God, learning to connect with and trust others, differences of opinions without condemnation, facing fears and other ways that require more than just head knowledge.
Taking in grace and forgiveness: Of the many principles and lessons of growth, the process of internalizing God’s grace and forgiveness takes the most amount of time. Believing and trusting in God’s love and unmerited favor require faith and hope: “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God” (Romans 5:1-2). It is much more natural for people to try to earn God’s love or to learn a habit or ritual than to believe in things not yet seen. Believing in our own effort to get it done and repeating the same old patterns continues the cycle of living under the law rather than grace: “So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin” (Romans 7:25).
Internal versus external change: Spiritual growth is change on the inside that produces growth on the outside. A repentive heart causes true character growth. As the heart is transformed, the life of the believer is then transformed on the outside. “You believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls” (1Peter 1:8-9). It is much easier for us to focus on the external, behavioral change: “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me” (see Mark 7). While our actions are important, and we are responsible for them, we must ultimately focus on our character growth of our hearts. What area of your life can be less about the intellectual “knowing” and more about a “knowing” in the heart?
Experience versus intellectual learning: Spiritual growth should affect relational problems, emotional problems, and all other problems of life. Spiritual growth involves the whole person. All of our parts need to be exposed to God’s love and healing: heart, soul, and mind (see Matthew 22:37). Growth is much more than just a mental understanding or memorizing a fact, idea, or principle. Understanding and memorization is the mind working, which is a necessary component of growth but if that were all there was to growth then you could just memorize a list and then you would be done. While a thorough understanding of God’s ways are certainly a requirement, even the Bible itself teaches that knowing truth is not enough and that we have to do what it says (see James 1:22-25). We need to add experience to our intellectual understanding of growth, what people call those eighteen inches between the head and the heart. It takes time to experience grace and the forgiveness of God, learning to connect with and trust others, differences of opinions without condemnation, facing fears and other ways that require more than just head knowledge.
Taking in grace and forgiveness: Of the many principles and lessons of growth, the process of internalizing God’s grace and forgiveness takes the most amount of time. Believing and trusting in God’s love and unmerited favor require faith and hope: “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God” (Romans 5:1-2). It is much more natural for people to try to earn God’s love or to learn a habit or ritual than to believe in things not yet seen. Believing in our own effort to get it done and repeating the same old patterns continues the cycle of living under the law rather than grace: “So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin” (Romans 7:25).
Internal versus external change: Spiritual growth is change on the inside that produces growth on the outside. A repentive heart causes true character growth. As the heart is transformed, the life of the believer is then transformed on the outside. “You believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls” (1Peter 1:8-9). It is much easier for us to focus on the external, behavioral change: “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me” (see Mark 7). While our actions are important, and we are responsible for them, we must ultimately focus on our character growth of our hearts. What area of your life can be less about the intellectual “knowing” and more about a “knowing” in the heart?
June 8, 2012
The Wall of Justifiable Resentment
Resentment is a like toxic chemical. It can eat away at your soul like acid. Resentment also gives up control of your life to the person you resent. Resentment becomes a wall that casts a dark showdown on the present and blocking off the future. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32). Resentment, also called bitterness, is the experience of a negative emotion (anger, rage, hatred) felt as a result of a real or imagined wrong done. Bitterness is known in the Bible as spiritual poison and a means by which many are defiled: “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15).
Root cause to negative emotions: Resentment can be tricky to recognize because it's not a symptom or visible on the surface like anger usually is. Resentment is an underlying problem that doesn't always manifest on the outside, but dwells in that person's system. Resentment is a root, thereby making it harder to identify and expose than many surface issues, but none the less it's a deadly poison that needs to be addressed. If left alone, it will grow and fester, and it has the ability to spring up many surface issues such as irritability, anger, and hatred. Individuals who have a root of resentment will often find it easy to become upset over little things that go on around them. It is easy for them to look at the circumstances around them as the source of their problems, rather than seeing how they are handling those circumstances. Instead of letting it go and forgiving, they let resentment get to them, and it eats away at them.
Forgiveness breaks down the wall of justifiable resentment: Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness breaks down the wall of justifiable resentment and brings peace that helps you go on with life.
Benefits of forgiveness: Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to healthier relationships, less anxiety, stress and hostility, lower blood pressure, fewer symptoms of depression, and lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. When people give up their anger long enough to peer into the hearts of others, it can make all the difference in restoring relationships that could have remained broken forever. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Don’t remain behind a wall that will hold you in a bitter and wasted life focused on the past, rather than enjoying the present and moving into a brighter future. Forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
Root cause to negative emotions: Resentment can be tricky to recognize because it's not a symptom or visible on the surface like anger usually is. Resentment is an underlying problem that doesn't always manifest on the outside, but dwells in that person's system. Resentment is a root, thereby making it harder to identify and expose than many surface issues, but none the less it's a deadly poison that needs to be addressed. If left alone, it will grow and fester, and it has the ability to spring up many surface issues such as irritability, anger, and hatred. Individuals who have a root of resentment will often find it easy to become upset over little things that go on around them. It is easy for them to look at the circumstances around them as the source of their problems, rather than seeing how they are handling those circumstances. Instead of letting it go and forgiving, they let resentment get to them, and it eats away at them.
Forgiveness breaks down the wall of justifiable resentment: Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness breaks down the wall of justifiable resentment and brings peace that helps you go on with life.
Benefits of forgiveness: Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to healthier relationships, less anxiety, stress and hostility, lower blood pressure, fewer symptoms of depression, and lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. When people give up their anger long enough to peer into the hearts of others, it can make all the difference in restoring relationships that could have remained broken forever. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Don’t remain behind a wall that will hold you in a bitter and wasted life focused on the past, rather than enjoying the present and moving into a brighter future. Forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
June 6, 2012
Time is an Element of Growth
God uses the passages of time as one element of growth for His people. Within the element of time, growth follows a defined order that spiritual movement is occurring. Spiritual growth should bring forth fruit of one kind or another over time. Many growers expect that if they read their Bibles and do the right things, they will instantly and permanently change. They become disappointed when this does not happen. They ask themselves why is growth taking so long? They feel God has let them down or they are doing something wrong. When people enter the growth process, it comes with great hope and excitement and then, somewhere along the way, they get discouraged because they are not seeing the results they would like. Growth takes time, is a process, and takes lots of practice.
Time is a process of repair: God did not include time in His plan, as He exists outside of time, in eternity. He is the First and the Last, the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. He experiences past, present, and future all at the same time (Exodus 3:14). We too, were created to live in an eternal state of joy and fullness, however, when Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, God wonderful creation was marred. God knew the seriousness of our situation and He knew that two things were necessary to fix the problem. The first was an atoning death to satisfy the requirements of His holiness. The second was a process of repair for His creation to be redeemed and healed from what it had brought upon itself. This is the process we call time. Time takes the creation out of the eternal state, as quarantine takes a sick person out of the community. This is so that the disease of sin will not contaminate eternity. When creation is healed of sin, time will be no more as its job will have been accomplished. We will again enter the eternal state with God. There will be no progression of day and night in eternity, only a continual day illuminated by God Himself (Revelations 22:5).
Time is a gift: The gift of time applies also in the lives of individuals. When a person comes to faith in Christ, the guilt of sin is removed from him, and he now has a relationship with God. Yet he is born again not as an adult, but as a spiritual baby. Like an infant, he must now enter the process of growth over time and receive the elements of growth that will one day mature him. This is what Peter means by our growing in salvation (1 Peter 2:2). Miracles do still happen. The Bible and our own experiences show that God does do instant and marvelous things. And we need to ask for these, receive them when they happen, and thank God for them. However, the norm taught in the Bible is a model for growth (Mark 4:26-29, Ephesians 2:20-21, Colossians 2:19, and 2Peter 3:18). Believing in teachings that only emphasize deliverance can produce in people to not be dependent on God and His maturing ways, but in a “spiritual event” to heal them. Be open to the process and to the miraculous. God is for us in both ways. The process is not a structure-less journey you can’t know or understand. Rather, God wants you to be a co-laborer in this process (Philippians 2:12-13).
Everyday living: Make the adjustment from an instant results mentality to a Biblical process of growth that produces fruit over time. Understand why growth takes time, and understand the purpose of time in that process.
Time is a process of repair: God did not include time in His plan, as He exists outside of time, in eternity. He is the First and the Last, the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. He experiences past, present, and future all at the same time (Exodus 3:14). We too, were created to live in an eternal state of joy and fullness, however, when Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, God wonderful creation was marred. God knew the seriousness of our situation and He knew that two things were necessary to fix the problem. The first was an atoning death to satisfy the requirements of His holiness. The second was a process of repair for His creation to be redeemed and healed from what it had brought upon itself. This is the process we call time. Time takes the creation out of the eternal state, as quarantine takes a sick person out of the community. This is so that the disease of sin will not contaminate eternity. When creation is healed of sin, time will be no more as its job will have been accomplished. We will again enter the eternal state with God. There will be no progression of day and night in eternity, only a continual day illuminated by God Himself (Revelations 22:5).
Time is a gift: The gift of time applies also in the lives of individuals. When a person comes to faith in Christ, the guilt of sin is removed from him, and he now has a relationship with God. Yet he is born again not as an adult, but as a spiritual baby. Like an infant, he must now enter the process of growth over time and receive the elements of growth that will one day mature him. This is what Peter means by our growing in salvation (1 Peter 2:2). Miracles do still happen. The Bible and our own experiences show that God does do instant and marvelous things. And we need to ask for these, receive them when they happen, and thank God for them. However, the norm taught in the Bible is a model for growth (Mark 4:26-29, Ephesians 2:20-21, Colossians 2:19, and 2Peter 3:18). Believing in teachings that only emphasize deliverance can produce in people to not be dependent on God and His maturing ways, but in a “spiritual event” to heal them. Be open to the process and to the miraculous. God is for us in both ways. The process is not a structure-less journey you can’t know or understand. Rather, God wants you to be a co-laborer in this process (Philippians 2:12-13).
Everyday living: Make the adjustment from an instant results mentality to a Biblical process of growth that produces fruit over time. Understand why growth takes time, and understand the purpose of time in that process.
June 3, 2012
The Wall of Arrogant Entitlement
Walls are growth issues that hinder, stifle, or prevent change and progress. Walls keep us from strengthening and developing our important relationships and enjoying the life God would have for us. Walls are not permanent or impenetrable. The Bible teaches us wisdom, principles and how things work in His kingdom. (Psalms 112:5) and with Jesus, all things are possible: “With your help I can advance against a troop, with my God I can scale a wall” (Psalm 18:29).
“I did it my way”: Theses words are the theme song of those with an entitlement attitude. We are by our fallen nature, concerned first with our own needs. Arrogant entitlement is about getting your own needs met so you can remain “happy” at all costs, no matter whom it hurts. Greed is a bottomless pit that can never be filled. Those whom believe they are entitled to the best of life, want more and more because “they deserve it”. We pursue what we want, and when we get it, we feel that we simply got what we were entitled to have. Finally after getting all of our own needs met, if at all, are we able to take into consideration the needs of others. Arrogant entitlement is concerned only with self. Serving self only is a root of pride and failure to believe in God as the source of life. Ultimately all rebellion is sin, and sin reaps destruction: (Galatians 6:7-8).
Extreme self-centeredness: Narcissism often means egoism, vanity, conceit, or selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others. In psychology, the term is used to describe both normal self-love and unhealthy self-absorption due to a disturbance in the sense of self. We all have some distorted thinking. In more extreme cases as with narcissism, these self-centered behaviors may even indicate mental illness of a greater degree.
Rationalization continues the insanity: Most people know in their hearts what they should do and what they shouldn’t do. The Bible contradicts self-oriented living by telling us not to demand our own way but to live with a strong concern for others: “This is the message you heard from the beginning; We should love one another” (1John 3:11). People with a strong arrogant entitlement, need to bridge their reasoning from what they know what is right, to indulge in, and also justify in doing, that which is not right. When we rationalize our sinful nature, it makes the wrong seem acceptable so it continues.
Humility creates change: The key to overcoming arrogant entitlement is humility. A humble person does not think less of himself; he thinks of himself less. A humble person does not use everything within himself to further his own cause, but rather desires to use whatever strength or position he has to help others and meet their needs: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong doing” (1Corinthians 13:4). Walls come down when we are humbled. We gain a new profound respect and honor for God. “You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty” (Psalm 18:27). He strengthens us with love and hope, and with our willingness and perseverance to change and grow, we become more like Christ.
Contentment is the Result: Feeling dissatisfied and always wanting more, always believing you deserve more than you have, but never quite having all you think you deserve is an empty life. Humility leads to contentment and satisfaction. Only people who are truly humble can be peaceful and joyful when they are needy. Contentment furthers a life of thankfulness rather than disappointments. God not only wants to give us the desires of our heart but, the gift of the ability to enjoy them. Contentment means we are satisfied. God takes us from not enough, to, just enough, to, more than enough: “Humility and the fear of the Lord bring wealth and honor and life” (Proverbs 22:4).
Everyday Living: Put God first. Living by the Spirit is doing the will of God. “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:16-17, 22). When we live a life in the Spirit, it shows.
“I did it my way”: Theses words are the theme song of those with an entitlement attitude. We are by our fallen nature, concerned first with our own needs. Arrogant entitlement is about getting your own needs met so you can remain “happy” at all costs, no matter whom it hurts. Greed is a bottomless pit that can never be filled. Those whom believe they are entitled to the best of life, want more and more because “they deserve it”. We pursue what we want, and when we get it, we feel that we simply got what we were entitled to have. Finally after getting all of our own needs met, if at all, are we able to take into consideration the needs of others. Arrogant entitlement is concerned only with self. Serving self only is a root of pride and failure to believe in God as the source of life. Ultimately all rebellion is sin, and sin reaps destruction: (Galatians 6:7-8).
Extreme self-centeredness: Narcissism often means egoism, vanity, conceit, or selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others. In psychology, the term is used to describe both normal self-love and unhealthy self-absorption due to a disturbance in the sense of self. We all have some distorted thinking. In more extreme cases as with narcissism, these self-centered behaviors may even indicate mental illness of a greater degree.
Rationalization continues the insanity: Most people know in their hearts what they should do and what they shouldn’t do. The Bible contradicts self-oriented living by telling us not to demand our own way but to live with a strong concern for others: “This is the message you heard from the beginning; We should love one another” (1John 3:11). People with a strong arrogant entitlement, need to bridge their reasoning from what they know what is right, to indulge in, and also justify in doing, that which is not right. When we rationalize our sinful nature, it makes the wrong seem acceptable so it continues.
Humility creates change: The key to overcoming arrogant entitlement is humility. A humble person does not think less of himself; he thinks of himself less. A humble person does not use everything within himself to further his own cause, but rather desires to use whatever strength or position he has to help others and meet their needs: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong doing” (1Corinthians 13:4). Walls come down when we are humbled. We gain a new profound respect and honor for God. “You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty” (Psalm 18:27). He strengthens us with love and hope, and with our willingness and perseverance to change and grow, we become more like Christ.
Contentment is the Result: Feeling dissatisfied and always wanting more, always believing you deserve more than you have, but never quite having all you think you deserve is an empty life. Humility leads to contentment and satisfaction. Only people who are truly humble can be peaceful and joyful when they are needy. Contentment furthers a life of thankfulness rather than disappointments. God not only wants to give us the desires of our heart but, the gift of the ability to enjoy them. Contentment means we are satisfied. God takes us from not enough, to, just enough, to, more than enough: “Humility and the fear of the Lord bring wealth and honor and life” (Proverbs 22:4).
Everyday Living: Put God first. Living by the Spirit is doing the will of God. “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:16-17, 22). When we live a life in the Spirit, it shows.
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