Myths that perpetuate Anger

Mythical thinking involves accepting hurtful past experiences as absolute truth when it is not. Some myths are stretched to such an extreme, they lack logic and keep us from applying good clear choices of how to best deal with anger issues. To manage anger successfully, we must eliminate false beliefs that continue the cycle. The following are six common myths held by angry people. 

Myth1. My history of rejection leaves me emotionally depleted: Some people believe they are forever jinxed if they have felt rejected several times. They are not prepared emotionally that many people may not accept them at all. So when rejection continues, hope fades while anger builds. 

Myth2. God should have stopped my problems: Anger is usually a by-product of some form of suffering. When we attempt to find the root of that suffering, we often blame God. Although it is easy to assume God doesn’t care when problems arise, the Bible tells us that all things are work together for good for those who trust in God.

Myth3. Letting go of my anger means I am conceding defeat: Angry people feel like victims because of wrongs they have endured. Some wrongs are underserved and other perceived wrongs are brought on by poor choices. Either way, victimization causes angry people to conclude that forgiveness is unreasonable.

Myth4. No one understands my unique problems: Because we thrive on relational wholeness, a life without anyone to share a burden with can be devoid of purpose. Instead of focusing on the differences between your circumstances and other people’s, we can come to see that everyone knows disappointment in some form or another.

Myth5. I don’t deserve to be happy: Sometimes we allow ourselves to be weighed down by the issues of others but we do not need to take responsibility for their problems. Instead we can view our efforts at managing our anger, as a responsible contribution to the well-being of those who play important roles in our lives. 

Myth6. There is nothing to look forward to anymore: When people have a pattern of irritability, it is easy for them to conclude that their future will be no different. Angry people can be so tied to their angry pattern they falsely conclude that attempts to change would be pointless.

Anchor yourself in Truth: Past frustrations can lead to false assumptions. With an increase in one’s current perception, you can learn to interpret your world very differently. By learning to challenge negative generalizations, we can replace myths with truth. Old thinking habits can be adjusted. The Bible says “to be transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2). Transformation means we do not have to be held captive to these myths. We can be set free from the anger that results from destructive ways of thinking. Begin to substituting myths with God’s truth.

Discussion question: Which one of these myths do most identify with, and why?