Consequences help us Grow

We have a natural tendency to think that no one understands the uniqueness of our particular situation. This tendency is based on our bent toward blaming and externalizing our problems, thereby avoiding the hard work of taking ownership and working through them. If we can say no one truly understands my life, it helps us to feel justified to stay out of the growth path.

Consequences are an important tool to get someone to help see his or her inability to change. Allowing people to suffer logical consequences is a way of getting people to realize their need. God uses reality consequences in our lives to get us to see our need for Him and what He has planned for us. Ideally, we can do that when we confront someone so they can deal with the reality. Sometimes people do not want to hear or cannot hear the truth of confrontation and they are unable to grow and remain stuck. At those times we often have to allow reality to touch their lives. Too often in the church, we protect people from the harsh realities of logical consequences that would force them to see their need for grace and what it can provide. Either we feel sorry for them and bail them out, or we fear them and put them on some sort of pedestal. The Bible warns against both; “Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly” (Leviticus 19:15). No matter the person’s struggle, we must help them face the truth and sometimes that means letting them deal with harsh realities and the resulting consequences.  

In the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15) the son asked the father for his share of the estate. The father allowed his son to choose and then to experience the consequences. After receiving his share of the estate, the son set off for a distant country, where he squandered his wealth in wild living. After his money was gone, he was forced to live with and take care of pigs. These consequences of the son’s own choices turned him around, helped him to see the need, and put him in a position where he could receive the things his father had to offer. This shows that that consequences often lead to repentance, is a correcting experience, and therefore a gift of grace.     

We must come to the place where we know we cannot make life work without the help from God and other people. We have to admit that we are failing and stop blaming God and others. Dealing with reality is taking the steps necessary to resolve the underlying issues. Once we get to a humble place, to continue to grow, we must accept that we do not know how to make it better. We need the help from outside ourselves. We have to find out what to do from there. The Bible teaches us many principles of relationship that apply to specific areas in our lives. The Bible is truth and it confronts us at every turn. When we turn a blind eye to truth, we set ourselves up for further pain and consequences but because of God’s design of reaping and sowing - allows us to grow. What reality consequences are you already facing?