Understanding Feelings of Inferiority

Standing up for your basic needs and convictions implies that you feel you’re in a down position at that moment. At its best, anger elevates you from a low position to one of equality with the other person. But when you feel too strongly compelled to stand up for your needs, you are struggling too much with the feeling of being in a down position.

Everyone feels inferior at times: Despite our good intentions, something keeps us from being what we perceive to be as perfect. That something is our natural bent toward sin. “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8). In moderating your feelings it can be helpful to be aware of two common traps: the trap of succumbing to inferiority feelings. And second, the trap of attempting to be falsely superior.  

·         We succumb to inferiority feelings: Somehow we learn to think we are less than acceptable because of our humanness. For some, their self-esteem is tied closely to their latest performance. Or maybe they were treated unfairly by someone in authority. Whatever the situation, the message is “you are not as perfect as you should be.” The Bible promises us this: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

·         We seek false superiority: When feelings of inferiority come upon us, we look for an escape. The most common is to seek an edge of superiority. When you react to difficulties with the thought “I’ve got to get the upper hand”, you are declaring war. This brings out the worst in your own personality and in the other person. “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited” (Romans 12:16).

Recognize equality: To avoid the inferior-superior trap, we must acknowledge that we are all equal in human value. It is foolish to compare human values because we don’t have the same playing fields. Not everyone shares the same experiences, or grew up in the same families. Rather than getting lured into false games of superiority, we are more capable of seeing people for what they are: fellow sinners who have an equal need for God’s grace. “This is love; not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 4:10).   

Minimize evaluations: Human beings are obsessed with evaluative standings. We feel compelled to grade the performance. Our self-esteem then rises or falls based on the latest report card. Accept feedback and be willing to learn, but don’t let your emotional stability hang on the latest evaluation. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

Despite our best efforts, sometimes we still feel inadequate. Feelings of inferiority combined with increasing difficult circumstances can lead to anger. Sometimes we resort to getting the upper hand. Which of these tendencies best describes you: succumbing to inferiority feelings, or seeking false superiority? Give an example.